On Wanking

I discovered masturbation when I was ten years old, and I still wank once or twice per day, at least - more if I can.  Nothing else gives me such a buzz, not even real fucking - which I love too.  But wanking is all pleasure, total immersion, and pure fantasy. Nothing comes close to it.

I prefer slow wanking, paging porn until I feel my cock unfolding, stiffening, and if I'm lucky, my cock head will become warm, itching and yearning to be scratched.  I like to take all my clothes off, sitting in my wank chair nude. Wanking is a one party state.  It does not matter what you look like, whether you showered, or whether you look like a fat pervert doing onan.  The only thing that matters, is the pleasure.

Over the years my taste in wanking material clarified.  As I got older, my dirty secrets emerged and I no longer suppressed everything that James Bond and my sports buddies would never admit doing.  So I slowly became more relaxed.  Yes, I loved older women - more than I ever loved young sluts. And I loved sagging tits, dirty cunts, smelly assholes, hairy armpits, the smell of sweat, stinky feet, and so on.  

Also, I finally realised that I love big hard cocks and massive ball sacs, and yes, I love the occasional man to fuck and be fucked.  I love pale women, and I also love dirty dark bitches.  As long as the women I wank were imperfect and natural. I like my porn to represent women who did not prepare for a male visit.  No powder and perfume and bathing and removing hair and creams and so on.  The women I wank,  must be caught in flagrante delicto - in their natural state. If they menstruate, I fuck them anyway. If they are unwashed and smelly, I fuck them hard.  If they sweat and itch, my cock gets harder.  If they are clean, I fuck them hard too.  As long as the porn gives me a window on real life women and men, as they are; not as the media and social intercourse present them.  

I love watching an imperfect couple fuck, with a man wanking away in the room, enjoying their carnal grit.  I would love to wank while a couple is fucking in front of me.  And I love to wank over porn that is not studio created.  I want to hold my swollen cock, when I edge, and to notice the girl's stained panties on the floor below the couch - and to check out the open closet, the tennis shoes, and the books.  I love peeping into my wank-partner's world, enjoying the [fake] intimacy I feel I am there, inside, with her/them, sharing not only their carnal secrets, but also the inside of their houses,cars, holidays, lives, bedrooms, dirty panties, genitals, orgasms and even the flowback of cold semen from folded and fleshy meat flaps.

When I ejaculate, I become vocal if alone.  I lift my ass,  I grunt, my muscles spasm and I moan, and the fucking joy and delight that hits my whole body, my balls and my electrified cock,  is indescribable.  I love big cum volumes.  As I get older, my cum volume is becoming smaller and smaller, and I yearn for my youth when I not only ejaculated almost violently, often hitting the wall behind me, or a piece of furniture way over there like a gunshot. 

I used to cum violently, and voluminously.  In my youth, I ejaculated seven or eight times on average,  including at least three or more massive loads.  These days, I am delighted if I ejaculate hard enough to blow some seed up in the air rather than just spewing myself wet all over without even seeing a strong white strain of cum going up and away. 

Moments after my orgasm, when I am covered in seed, and breathing hard, relaxing into the sense of happiness that follows ejaculation, I feel sad too.  I want to wank on, watch more porn, edge away for longer.  But alas, I am too old for multiple orgasms.  Nothing can quite arouse me like all pussy did when I was younger. 

What I do enjoy these days, is to record myself wanking, ejaculating, and masturbating.  I like taking pics of my cock and balls, and I enjoy seeing myself go.  Rarely, i would share this with some wank buddies, or even my wife.  She knows about my wanking - I never hide from her.  When I wank, sometimes she will join me and jerk me off, suck me, or even ask me to fuck her.  But Ellen does not like sex as much as I do.  For her, it is a nice activity, when she loves her man,  but she can do without.  Sometimes I wank just to expose myself to her and to make her complicit to my ball slapping fun.

And when I'm done, I switch off my wank-computer, and I long for the smell of pussy - the real musky slightly pissy smell of a gloopy cunt, ass and tits.