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Your darkness eliminates my light.
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My many attempts to spread light in your darkness is stealing my peace. It leaves me physically, mentally, and spiritually crippled. I'm not sure if you noticed, but for the past several months I have put my life on pause. I rush around to prep for your arrival, and try to be there for support. Maybe my motives are dirtected by selfish intentions. But it's to help you and our unit be healthier, and happier. I just want you to not socialize with people or things sexually especially if I'm not included. Okay yeah I get it, you have a problem. I understand that, too. But if I'm sitting on the shelf over here on pause and your out there doing whatever feels good to relieve unnecessary pressure IS NOT A LOGICAL REASON TO JUSTIFY THIS. How long are you planning on me sitting here, until you decide if your gonna choose me or this monster that was created long before I arrived. This monster has completely locked you down and took control. How long? How much more pain and suffering should I endure while your deciding on what to choose? Well since you can't communicate with me about it, here is what I think. I have privately and publicly begged you to stop and focus on what really matters for several months now. And just to be completely honest I'm running low ideas. So I'm gonna scrape the bottom of the barrel here , and get real desperate with the last few options/plans that are left. Just know I love you more than life it's self and I only went to this measurement to save not only us but, you. Not just for us but so the boys can have attentive father. This is so much more complicated than it has to be. But when you shut me in the dark, my only option is to resolve on my own. Remember it's completely out of love. You might not got this but I'm gonna help you. But just not like this .
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Posted on : Feb 24, 2023
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