I am the youngest person living in a fifty-five and older "active adult retirement community".  I ended up here because I was completely bored where I lived before. I moved here a few months after I turned fifty five.  I am disabled from diabetes and diabetic neuropathy which is a type of nerve damage. The nerve damage is one of the almost infinite numbers of complications that can arise from a lifetime of diabetes. Other complications that can occur are blindness, kidney and liver failure and amputations of various body parts. The amputations result from a lack of circulation to the extremities. This is most typical in the feet. I’ve had diabetes forty-six years. It’s an endless battle for truth, justice and the American way.  What I used to do for entertainment before I moved here was to go buy the morning newspaper and a cup of coffee to help kill about thirty minutes. My ability to drive a car is limited by my nerve damage. So this limited what I could do and where I could go.  This "active adult retirement community" isn't unique. They are all over the United States. New Jersey has its Rossmoor and Leisure City. The Seinfeld TV show had the fictional Del Boca Vista. The one I live in is in Arizona. It's not as well known as Sun City, but it's based on the same concept. The concept is that when you retire you need something to do and other people to hang around with who are your same age who are also retired.Retired people should not be allowed to roam free. The community would be described as being upscale. It surely is. One day when I was using the community center computer to use the Internet there was a man using one of the terminals. The terminal was right in front of the door to the computer room. I wasn’t snooping on purpose. I couldn’t help but look. He was logged onto his brokerage account. The numbers were right there in front of me in characters about one half inch high. The total on the brokerage account was over twenty four million dollars. I’d have to say that this person was an exceptionally wealthy resident but he lives her none the less. One of the most common activities is complaining. You won't find "complaining" listed as an official activity on the monthly calendar or the monthly magazine but people do freelance complaining at regular intervals, like every minute of every day. What can you complain about? The possibilities are endless.  Is there a bicycle rack in front of the community center? Complain about that and it will be taken away. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Does the receptionist eating her lunch at the front desk bother you? Complain about that and she will be left to go hungry during her fourteen hour day. She was so selfish to have taken her lunch while you needed some attention to whatever you were complaining about. The bitch! There are some people here who are of the World War II generation. They have been described as the Greatest Generation. I don't know who those people of the Greatest Generation were. None of them live here. The Complaining Generation lives here. 

Sacred Rules 

There are so many rules here I feel like I'm back in Rahway State Prison.It's unbelievable! The list of "prohibited" items just at the swimming pool takes almost an entire page to list. For example - beach balls. Beach balls?No beach balls at the swimming pool? What was I thinking? I guess that if I were to hit someone in the head with a beach ball it might knock out a hearing aid or dentures. I saw a young woman at the pool breastfeeding her baby. That's ok but beach balls aren't. Not listed on the prohibited items is urinating. So whenever I go to the pool I'm sure to drink a few extra glasses of water just before I go. Other items not prohibited are ping-pong balls and inflatable dolls. OK! I asked about what the punishment might be for someone violating one of the sacred rules at the pool. I was told that it would depend on how "flagrant" the violation was. I suggested that a person bringing a beach ball to the pool should be crucified and placed outside the entrance as an example for everyone else. This seems fair. 

Old Farts 

One day while I was at the gym there was one guy there who let out a huge fart. It was so loud I thought it might be the angel Gabriel blowing his horn. That's not the type of fart I'm referring to. The "old fart" is really a state of mind and attitude. One of my hobbies is photography. Now and then I have been known to photograph some young and sexy women. This may put me in the category of "dirty old man" but at least I have lived long enough to be called that. Our community has a very beautiful custom made swimming pool with tall fountains. It was begging me to take one of the models I know over there to photograph her.  I let her know that she needed to be relatively modest in her swimsuit which meant no thong bottom or any part of her ass crack showing. I inspected her thoroughly before going over to the pool. I spent about an hour with her at the pool photographing this young sample of God's creation. There were maybe ten or twelve people in the pool besides me and her. I was very careful not to photograph anyone else other than my model. I didn't want some old geezer in the photo ruining my efforts.  I took a one hour break and went back to the pool with this young woman. The receptionist told me that someone had asked her if she had given permission for the taking of "sexy" photos at the pool. Let's see. The woman is in a swimsuit at the swimming pool. Where did I go wrong? I really wasn't paying attention to who was at the swimming pool that day.Go figure. I had no idea who might have been the complaining party that day until several months later.  I belong to the singles club where I live. I take the photographs of the parties that the club has. About five months after my photo session at the pool, one of the men asked me during one of the parties about the photos he had seen me take. Aha! It still bothered him after all that time. 

Ambience 

The community is located in a lovely setting near some saguaro covered hills. That much and other scenery is obvious. What isn't obvious is the close proximity to a major railroad line. The tracks are three miles away but the trains sound like they are a lot closer than that. The clickity-clack, clickity-clack of the wheels and the beeeeeeeep, beeeeeeep, of the horns can heard twenty-four hours a day! I didn't think it was humanly possible to create a noise so loud as the horns short of a jet engine. Something else that isn't immediately obvious is the existence of a 3000 acre ranch just over the hill. On some days when the wind is right there is a faint but distinct odor of manure. Oh, boy! At the community center there is a video surveillance system with multiple cameras. There is a camera at the reception desk. There are two in the computer room. There is one more in the gym and another at the swimming pool. I guess the one at the swimming pool is to catch anyone bringing in a beach ball. As far as I know there are no video cameras in the bathrooms. 

 Ample Parking Day or NightPeople Shouting "Howdy Neighbor" 

There is ample parking during the day at least. Overnight parking is not allowed. That is unless you drive an official vehicle of some sort like a police cruiser. Some people are more equal than others. Rumor has it that violators of this rule are spirited away to foreign countries where torture is permitted. In the TV Series the X-Files Mulder and Scully go undercover in an upscale suburban development. People there were being killed for violating the deed restrictions. There have been a number of deaths here since I arrived but they have all been the result of natural causes. Or have they? Overall, most people here are very friendly. There are always exceptions.Someone had blue paint splashed all over their house. The perpetrator of this act left a note indicating that this was in retaliation for "ratting out" someone to the homeowners association. No one has been shot yet. 

Resistance Is FutileYou Will Be Assimilated 

There is an overriding enforced conformity. The color of your home must come from a pre-approved color palette. Any changes must be approved by the architectural committee even though your colors are from the palette. No whacky color schemes are allowed! Certain colors are approved only for the body of the house. Other colors are only for the trim. Potted plants are Ok in the front yard but you are limited to no more than six. Any more than six and you will be fined. Decorating your front yard with a fountain or other "artifacts" is not permitted. If you do not have enough plants of a certain type and size, you will be fined. Certain plants are not permitted at all. Installation of a satellite dish requires approval from the architectural committee. The placement is very critical to the look of the community.Having your satellite dish in a non-approved location will result in a fine. 

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself 

If the authorities of the homeowners association do not catch your violations, they rely on neighbors to rat each other out in a system of information gathering. Access to certain areas of the community center is available after hours with an electronic card. Residents are not permitted to allow other residents to enter these areas even if they are your best friend. It's all monitored electronically as to who enters. The cards have a unique identifier so as to be coordinated with the video surveillance system. 

It's the happiest place on earth!