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18 months down the line....
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Goodness me, what a difference eighteen months makes. As I pass 150 fans (never thought I’d get 50 when I started) I feel I ought to thank everybody who has become a fan and to those special ones who have left comments in one form or another. It has meant a great deal to me and given me boosts in confidence. I wish I could receive more messgaes from people and entrer into chats with like minded or appreciative souls who can string more than a few words together. I feel I am very gradually overcoming some of the debilitating shyness I normaly have and allowing my frustrated, inner exhibitionist to develop. It's a slow road but I'll get there.
What started out as an occasional crossdressing curiosity has now become something more important and essential to me. Many of my fantasies, with either men or women, involve me dressing up as girly as possible. When I think of how much I have spent of girly clothes over the last two years it beggars belief! I find it very difficult getting things to fit one of my height and build (I’m 6ft 8ins in my favourite heels!!) but still take great delight in constantly searching for just the ‘right’ thing. I still get that stiffening tingle as I slide a pair of stockings up my thighs and fasten the clips of a suspender belt to the tops. The brush of lace or satin against my cock signals my entering into the world of girlishness. The transformation of makeup, the experimetation with lipsticks and eyelashes and eyeshadow; all in service of the need to become my optimum cumslut and whore; the need to 'become' somebody else.
But I am not compltely submissive and I doubt I ever shall be. The controller in me still wants things to be ‘just so’ to gain maximum sensation. Is this a bad thing? The need to take pictures of my exploits and share them with those who appreciate such things still means that I have to control at least some of the experience. Pornography is such a beautiful thing and a world without it is an inconceivable thing to me.
Over the last couple of years my need to suck unlimited numbers of cocks, to feed on their cum and be used as their urinal has become insatiable as my femininity amplifies and I feel myself taken over by an unapologetic lust. But I lust after women just as much as I ever have. Theirs is the world that fascinates me most and swallowing their piss direct from source is akin to a religious experience; a baptism of gold. It’s difficult writing this without wanting to don some silky underwear and masturbate until sunrise!
I wonder where I’ll be in another couple of years? Hopefully I will have had lots of adventures, extended my wardrobe and galleries and discoverd new aspects of my sexuality to share with you all. God bless you lot for taking an interest. Hopefully, I’ll update this when something notable happens.
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Posted on : Dec 8, 2022
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