I'm writing this blog as a form of exhibitionism, and what I want to show off is my state of utter and humiliating emasculation. The only reason I can even get this down is owing to locking myself in chastity; otherwise I would be rubbing one through my panties looking at pics of women with men on leashes, beautiful women looking scornful with insulting and degrading captions, and hard little cocks, or thick throbbing ones. Furiously going back and forth on seperate rails of titilation, I would quickly spurt once I start tugging on my sensitive nipples prominent on my b-cup filling breasts, shuddering from all the sub sissy stimulation. But instead, my clitty is shrivaled and tamed in a tight pick cage. Even before I knew about chastity cages for undeserving cocks, i liked my own form of chastity play, which I'm sure is not atypical for sissies. I've been crossdressing bascially my entire life, and from an early age I wanted to have a smooth and proper crotch so the panties would look right. So i would tuck my little clitty between my chubby thighs, which would also push my shamefully tiny testicles up and allow me to have the look I craved to see in the mirror. This was sometimes difficult to do, or rather always; anytime I caould sneak off to dress up in front of a mirror i would be rock hard and perioulsly close to cumming. Instead of instant gratification, I would abstain long enough to press my struggling turigid clit between my legs and get my panties up in order to admire the smooth feminine look. Even before I became obsessed with female undergarments, I had a secret propensity for dressing up, and in the girliest fashion. Drawn like a moth to a flame, I was in orbit of my sister's white communion dress, a traditional dress with puffy sleeves, and large bow, and full voluminous skirt with attached pettycoat, all lace and satiny material. I wore the dress numerous times, even when I had to retrieve it from storage in garage, even when i could barely squeeze into it. I remember wearing it once with a plastic tiara and pearls from a Princess dress-up game, and feeling deliciously pretty and delicate. My sissy fate was sealed. I was able to crossdress for a long time without masturbating, which for various reasons I abstained from indulging in until high school (although, i did have quite a few accidents from the contact between panties and my sensitive clit. The first time I properly masturbated, I had my clit tucked into a black pair of cheerleader briefs (was so grateful when my sister was a cheerleader) with a black sports bra craddling my ample titties. Once I let my cock out it was long before I was shamefully removing bra and panties and setting about cleaning the cum that sprayed everywhere. I suppose this blog is long enough, but they'll be more with the candid moment in the life of a sissy bitch.