Hello again,

As I explore my Beta Boi Submissive self-ness, I am appreciating that it feels very good to me consider having Others Dominate my sexual experiences and behavior, especially more toward Their Pleasure rather than or even Instead of Mine.

I feel quite attracted toward being the Provider of a Physical Body (mouth, ass, etc.) in which for others to Relieve Themselves, even sort of like a Toilet.

I like the term "Flesh Bag": a Relief receptacle into which others may insert themselves, merely to exist as a body for Their stimulation, Their arousals, Their ejaculations, Their orgasms, in an everyday manner.

I feel rather deeply attracted to that - a site for other people's ORGASMS to occur, like in my Mouth, in my Throat, in my Anus and in my Rectum, again - a place in which for people to Relive themelves.

So now I'm remembering also (long ago) having a Counselor suggest that I undergo antidepressant treatment ... and so a Physician's Assistant prescribed some of them and (supposedly) monitored how I respond to them.

Prozac was a Disaster - actually made me Manic. Amitriptyline  was mediocre, others whose names I do not even remember were of little or no use.

One, however stood out to me in very unexpected ways, that was Paxil. Often antidepressants have sex arousal or arousal suppression effects. In my case Paxil was inbetween there for me. All I had to do was Think of sex, Think of my body, Think of my penis, and I became quickly aroused, but WITHOUT erections or ORGASM .

Oh I could go through the motions, yet I could Not achieve either any Climax, nor an Orgasm, nor an Ejaculation ... and I was quite intrigued  by that, because my most common sexual climax experience was also strongly dominated by Premature Ejaculation and little (if any) actully fulfilling Orgasm.

So this Suppression of Climax from Paxil had seemed a likely way for me to Successfully Fuck someone's Vagina, for long enough for them -  to even notice - that I was inside there (toward which I was otherwise basically Useless).

As previously mentioned a serious element of my climax-orgasm experience was premature ejaculation, ejaculation without orgasm or having a most tiny orgasm that really did not reach any height - to make it hardly even worth Bothering to have sex.

For instance Once (only, ever) when at age 30, I actually lived with (only) one woman, and for 8 months, during which she Did actually have One orgasm, and oddly enough on the very next night I actually did have One (real) orgasm too.

That has (mostly) been the extent of my "sex life" except for some brief moments of homosexual opportunity (sadly unrecognized and even More sadly not pursued - due to that child hood {programmed} stigma against doing "dirty" things, and gee wiz do I ever want to be a Dirty Boi).

So in (hopeful) pursuit of such attractions toward Submissive sexuality, including multiple both Submissive and Dominant, participants, including via possible: Sissification, Feminzation, mixed racial Dominance, Humiliation, Etc., I am aware that since it's not My considered craving for Climax & Orgasm that is of primary interest to me, to an extent going back on Paxil could actually be rather intriguing and possibly encouraging my strong submissively Non-Orgasm position.

Well, long story short, since I want to experiment with Feeling various such possibilities, I have an upcoming Doctor appointment and I am going to specifically Request for a prescription renewal ...

Goodness, if only someone had Fondled my early sexual development with an Estrogen recommendation (and I mean very early) ... Wow, I might long ago have been able to enjoy being the Subject of many such lovely sissy-faggot pictures that are now so Wonderfully provided Here on ImageFap.

So, I may soon be updating this post with some Paxil Treatment reports.

Love Robin 

~ Still lost in the Maine woods ~