Dear Universe,

I sincerely want to thank all the men and women (mostly men) who have helped guide and shape my orientation over the years- performers of interracial erotica are the role-models + heroes (again, mostly the men!) and heroines of my sexual awakening.  Sexual dimorphism in nature is widely observed on every level of biosphere... so there's nothing unnatural or wrong with a human being like me who is blessed with the duty to operate on both ends of the heteronormative spectrum.  Choosing to start practicing and exploring my true sexual nature has proven to be one of the most valuable and important decisions I've ever made: this isn't a phase and it's not an addiction.  I accept my Homosexuality as a sacred duty and I will exercise it with Pride and Joy!  It's not about becoming Gay- it's about going beyond Gay!

My admiration and fascination with black men goes way, way back- today, it's been cultivated into something much, much more.  What started as something casual has turned into a story of adoration, attraction, devotion, and CELEBRATION!  I've gravitated to interracial erotica for pretty much my entire adult life but only until a couple years ago did I ever even become consciously-aware of the fact that this kind of media is essentially a delivery mechanism for Gay BBC Love!  The gorgeous women are really just there to frame the focus of the scene on the perfect black cock, and to make it look even bigger in comparison!  I've learned to turn those curiosities into a real part of my Homosexual Identity and my personality as a whole.  I am powerfully attracted to black men: mentally, emotionally, and physically!  

Accepting my Homosexuality as a blessing is the only way forward- that's been evident for a long time!  Every aspect of my life improves, the more I incorporate my Gayness into my personality and lifestyle.  I mean, I can't even look at a naked African American Stud without my girly little penis pumping out an automatic Kegel!  I have an intense physical response whenever I become aroused by Black Cocks- so it's pretty safe to say I'm Gay~!

My Personal Attraction Rankings:
1.  Black Men  (Hands down- nothing is sexier to me than a black stud with a BBC!)

2.  Black Shemales  

3.  Bimbos  (I idolize Queens and Divas alike- mostly as role models for my sexuality, though!)

I'm not sure I'd call myself a true "sissy", but I definitely cherish my sissy qualities!  I love being submissive and I'm very eager to please and impress my Man with the skills I've been training for all these years!  I don't need to be coerced or convinced and I loathe vagueries... make no mistake, let it be known: I want to use my body to please a Man, and I want to show him how much I Love it.  I have thick, long, legs and a huge yoga Beta Boi Bubble Booty.  I'm thick and proportioned to maximize my effectiveness as a permanent Power-Bottom Boi.  I have smooth, well-treated, white milky skin.  I'm toned and tight everywhere that counts and I'm smooth and girly where straight men expect a curvy Size Queen to be.  My cock is above-average, feminine, and generally quite comfortably-soft.  Whenever I'm in "Gay Mode", or when I start to meditate and fantasize about my love for BBC... my penis is rarely hard and completely erect, it's more like an extended, gentle, "Beta Boner".  Don't get the wrong idea-  there are signs of Life and Love (I couldn't live without my cock!),  I'm still completely-functional and healthy, but my primary and preferred sexual tools are (without a DOUBT!)... pretty much the exact same as Iggy Azalea- Anal.

The inspiration and source material for my Gay Identity can be categorized into three different primary themes:

- Various Pop and Hip-Hop Music Industry Goddesses, their overall spiritual mood and aesthetic fashion, mental attitude, sex and body positivity 

- Competitive sports and fitness uniforms, specialized performance clothing, and equipment + gear: groups of athletic, muscular Men are more than willing to dress up and have fun with eachother within the context of competitive sports... like, the protective equipment in contact sports allows athletes to compete safely, efficiently, and in ways that simply make them better at their sport... so does it make sense that I want to wear high-heeled basketball shoes, thigh-high volleyball socks and knee pads, a microfiber jockstrap and protective cup while I worship BBC? "Gay Gear" is exciting to me because it'd a little bit cosplay, a little bit fetish, a little bit aesthetic- but the MAIN reason for dressing up before getting down... is because it increases my Homosexual Physical PERFORMANCE.  I'm able to go harder, longer, smoother, more accurately, and use my energy more effectively!  

Here's a list of some of my favorite aspects of interracial homosexuality:

- I get to have fun with my body in a totally unique and empowering way- twerking and dancing my beta boi bubble butt is REALLY fun!  I love pumpingg my cheeks and flexing my ass to the beat of whatever music is on in the background.  I mean, my conditioning is so engrained, I can literally feel my body readying itself for Gay Sex every time I hear a Nicki Minaj, Major Lazer, or Iggy Azalea track, LOL.  I wouldn't have it any other way!

- I just love the idea of two men working together to pleasure one another physically, mentally, and emotionally.

- I want to have a physical relationship with a dominant alpha-African stud.  Spending the night with an African stud is the most erotic experience I can possibly imagine.  The stronger the emotional and mental atmosphere... the better the physical relationship will be!

- I want to pump my boi booty on a BBC.  I want to push my ass onto a thick, erect, Black Cock and I want to use my body to bring as much Pleasure to my Man as possible.

 - One of the most erotic experiences I've ever had occurred earlier this evening:

I was listening to Iggy Azalea - Kream while frotting, edging, training with my favorite BBC dong and as the very last beat of the song played... my little white cock spilled out a huge, sexy drop of pre cum.... all over the BBC!  It was the perfect crescendo to an extremely-valuable extended training session and an exciting preview of things to come!

 Faggot Fitness:

- I love meditating about being in a physical relationship with a Black man where our goal is to get better and better at making eachother CUM!  We would measure the total amount after our session and try to improve how much we produce during our next training session!  I LOVE the idea of a constructive regimen like this, maybe even like a "League" of similarly-minded people?

- For example- let's say our "League" competes in teams of two or three... some nights it's M-M, or M-M-F, or even M-M-M~!!  Women would only be allowed to compete as Dominatrixes / to facilitate and encourage the core activity- Homosexual Love.

- Our league could rent out an entire Spa or Yoga Studio or Chalet and we would compete for our entire stay.  Each black top would get paired with a white bottom

 Fitness Journal:

- Tonight, I masturbated to a video of a Black Alpha bodybuilder.  It was FABULOUS and I climaxed at the same time as the Stud in the video.  It felt AWESOME, Empowering, and extremely erotic. 

 - Tonight, I had the house to myself, so I practiced for about an hour- it was fantastic!  Short and sweet, didn't climax, but I have the house to myself for most of the day tomorrow so I'm really just preparing myself for that session.  It gets more and more fun every time... my joy increases exponentially the more I practice!  It's just so FUN to push my booty back onto a massive BBC, and Bounce and Twerk along to the beat of my favorite Twerkk Anthems.

 - I'm going to Pumpp my boi booty to the beat of a twerk anthem until I cum like a Faggot all over my favorite BBC, and I'm going to feel Confident, Sexy, and Happy while I do it~!! 

 HOLIDAY WEEKEND~

This weekend is going to be XXX-TRA special~!!  I'll have the house all to myself for at LEAST two days of back-to-back Homosexual Meditation. 

 The other night, I paid an extremely hot Black Stud to masturbate while I watched him over webcam.  I spent less than $20.00 for one of the most erotic, exciting experiences I've EVER had.  This is a first for me- I am SO ready to take my Homosexuality to the next level.  He was kind, encouraging, and HUNG.  He pumped, massaged, stroked his ~10" Black cock for ~30 minutes while I touched myself.  It was incredible.  I am VERY much looking forward to the next time I have a Late Nite to myself so I can do this again.  There are so many beautiful, muscular Black Men out there- and I want to see their Penises!

Practicing and exploring my Gay Self only becomes more and more Fun and rewarding every time I do it.  TRULY Accepting the fact that this is simply who I am has made me a happier, healthier, and more Successful + Effective person.  

 I took the day off of work last month specitically for self-care.  I'm talking about a day of Homosexual Worship!  The night before, I went for one of my evening Runs at my local fitness studio.  But this time, instead of wearing the trainers I normally wear, I wore my Beta Booty Bimboi Basketball Shoes.  They have just the slightest lift in the heel- and when I wear them, I feel like a SLUT~♡!  They tip my hips inward in just the right way to maximize my footing and legs positioning, the perfect resting position that would allow my body to naturally Ready itself in anticipation to Receive a Black Man.  I normally just listen to an Audiobook while I run, but this time, wearing my Faggot Fitness Trainers, I chose to listen to one of my favorite Gay Interracial Sex Films.  Two Muscular, Physical black studs making love to a white bottom twunk.  The entire video is almost an hour long. And I listened to it from start to finish on a 4.5mi run, at almost maximum volume.  It all felt extremely S3XY.  The most scandalous part is that the film was playing in my browser, so I actually had to have the video open on the screen in order to maintain audio output.  I'd strategically pick up / place down my tablet to adjust the volume or pause (so I could Meditate on something Hott one of the Black Guys said, probably!), all while being very careful to keep the screen pointed DOWNWARD, away from any unexpected audience members.  It was one of the most exhilarating physical activities I've ever engaged in.  The PERFECT way to prepare for a day of PA$$IONATE Homosexxxual Intercourse!

 You know, being a Bottom is a legitimate way to live as an Empowered Male...

 I have a bit of a Hormonal Monthly Routine- every month, I feel the overwhelming desire to climax to Big Black Cock Content.  The more I embrace and cherish this 1000% Natural cycle, the better my life becomes.  I get luckier, happier, more $UCCE$$FUL and more comp~ASS~ionate every time I cum while studying, enjoying, some form of BBC Erotica~!  And guess what?  It's that time of month.  It's MY time of month!  Tonite is the nite- and hopefully tomorrow, let's be honest- to cum as HARD and as POWERFUL as I can while looking at a strong, thick, long, Ebony STUD!  Let's GO!!

•  The first time back in the saddle, so to speak... it always takes a little while to get back into it, and that's just part of the process~!  You wonder if you should really go ~ALL THE WAY~ with it again... but those insecure thoughts don't last long at all.  Before you know it, you feel your Gay Confidence utterly surging through your body... your Mind, Soul, and Body all begin CRAVING and WRITHING for that Special, Sacred form of $exuality...

•  A gorgeous ~Ebony Goddess~ triggers the initial wave of excitement: she reminds your subconscious how FUN it is to focus on Black Men while climaxing.  It's a SASSY, NAUGHTY, EMPOWERING feeling!

Tonight's the night, white boy- the first night of your Homosexual Holiday!  Take some time to relax.  Breathe.  Stetch.  Do yoga.  We're going to begin preparing your Body, Mind and Spirit for a week plus of Erotic Exaltation and Worship.  The stars and the moon are aligned, baby boi- it's your time of the month!  Your monthly Homosexual Hormonal Cycle just happens to fall on the week during which you've got the suite all to yourself!  Well, you and a squadron of Alpha African American STUDS to take care of you... and for you to take care of them.  Get ready, homo!  You already know you're going to have a LOT of fun!

Who cares if you have work tomorrow?  You can still enjoy your Homosexual Birthright- in fact, you can celebrate your Homosexuality whenever you want!  You should be PROUD of your unique, special characteristics! 

 NYE will be the most Grand, Fabulous, Elaborate GAYCATION thus far in my ~Homosexual History~