Rooted in most submissive fetishes is shame and humiliation. It's often a coping mechanism for those that suffered a type of trauma (being dumped, ridiculed, mocked, etc) at some point in their lives. It could've been from being picked on as a child, neglected by parents, cheated on by a lover, etc. Everyone has a story, each one different, but similar at the same time. Rather than let it consume one's life, converting that pain into a fetish helps not only deal with the pain, but make it somewhat enjoyable. My many years working as a couple's counselor and as a BDSM dominatrix has driven me to conclude that theory is the common denominator.

In BDSM, most subs crave the adrenaline pumping sensation of being at the mercy of their dom. That sinking, helpless, feeling in their gut knowing certain aspects of their life and well being are in the hands of someone else. Just imagine being tied up, completely naked, spread-eagle on a bed while an attractive, sadistic dominatrix circles around you holding a leather crop. She can hit you at any time for her own twisted pleasure and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Now imagine having duct tape over your mouth and your restraints so tight there is no way for you to say or signal a safety word/sign. Scary, yet orgasmic, isn't it?

It's that very fear and gut wrenching vulnerability that subs crave. Despite the shame, humiliation, physical pain, and psychological suffering, a sub wants more. Like a drug, they need more and more to reach their next high. But why? Why would anyone want to endure such a horrific experience intentionally? Because it taps into the part of the brain that isn't normally accessed. They know it's not normal, they know it's wrong, but that's what turns them on about it. Something new, something twisted. What happens when you run out of new and twisted sensations to get your fix? That is where findom comes in.

You've been tied up, whipped, beaten, pegged, shamed, humiliated, exposed, used, and everything else under the sun. Or at least you've masturbated to the thought of it a million times. Everyone knows masturbating to the same stuff a million times loses it's fun and being able to "keep it up" becomes more of a challenge. You can't afford a $200 an hour mistress to abuse you. You can't afford a $10,000 life-like sex doll that are all the rage these days. You have no interaction with anyone, and it's that loneliness that depresses you. Every day you get a little bit older, a little less attractive, and your options begin to dwindle. But you do have a job, and that's your saving grace.

Young dommes know they're attractive and in demand. They know they have a highly coveted service to offer. And you, well - you want to suffer. You want to be told to strip naked and masturbate while a pretty young girl watches. You want to be told you're being recorded, you want to be blackmailed into doing filthy things, and you want to be at the mercy of a sexy hot mistress. Maybe you want to be forced to dress up like a sissy bimbo and be laughed at, maybe you want to be forced to suck cock on camera, or maybe you want something unspeakable. Guess what? There are literally hundreds of sadistic, beautiful girls, that want to make you do those things. It's just a matter of negotiating. Each party has to be able to give each other what they want.

So you visit exposed.xxx (F4F fetish community) and you choose the fetish that gets your heart racing and dick hard (iFCams.com is a good backup). You choose a pretty face that offers cam2cam and read their profile. Does their description and bio seem like a good match? If not, keep looking. Eventually you will find one that sends goosebumps down the back of your neck and make your balls tingle. Create an account, link your credit card to your profile, purchase some credits (whatever you can comfortably afford), then send her a message. Tell her what drives you wild and what you want her to do. She may ignore you or she may say sorry, not for me. In that case continue your search. If she happens to say yes, then you've hit the jackpot and this is where the fun begins.

Now you're probably thinking, this isn't findom, this is just a cam girl. NOPE! This is very much findom. Typical cam girls are just stupid college girls that get paid "tips" to flash their no-no's. This is something completely different. You are now a SLAVE at the mercy of a sexy, young, dominant female who wants your money. She is going to make you strip, talk dirty, masturbate, fuck yourself, dance, dress up, and doing other nasty, fucked up things, while she watches. You can see her and she can see you. She might comment "Oooooh so hot baby!". Or she might say "OMFG you're so gay!" Or she might say "Yeah choke on that dick faggot!" Maybe she'll force you to share an embarrassing story with her. Maybe she'll make you just stand there while she makes fun of your tiny dick. Maybe she'll even make you cum on your desk and lick it up like a bukkake star. The possibilities are endless. But the real sick and twisted part is, while she makes you degrade yourself for her own sadistic entertainment, she'll be slowly using up the credits at the same time. There is nothing more shameful and humiliating than being financially drained while you do filthy things live on the internet.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to findom. I personally have retired from doing these types of live 1on1 cam2cam sessions, but will admit I did enjoy making pathetic subs degrade themselves while I watched the show. Often I would use my vibrator, knowing very well I was slowly destroying their dignity and damaging their financial stability. I was in reality, ruining their life. To a sadist such as myself, there is nothing more rewarding and pleasurable. This isn't fantasy or just fap material - this was real life. I could (and did) record some of the subs doing filthy sex acts and their money soon became mine. I made the fantasy real for them, and unlike other fetishes, this high is overly addictive. So addictive that some of my "victims" hit rock bottom and had to take time off to recover. Findom is NOT for the faint of heart, and the consequences are very, very REAL. The question is, do you dare? :shock:

-SeReNa