Even though consensual SM practices can be very pleasurable and, if the performers are imaginative, can indeed hold an endless stream of sensations, variations, and surprises, they normally are devoid of the primal emotion of genuine fear and fright. Widened pupils, accelerated heartbeat, cold sweat, pumping adrenaline, tensed muscles, and the genuine facial expression of horror and awe of the bottom paired with the veritable sensation of bone fide power of the dominant are usually missing. Comparing a run of the mill consensual SM session to a situation in which the submissive is truly helpless and subjected to the whims of a ruthless sadist, is like comparing kayfabe to MMA.

The question is whether it is possible to introduce aspects of "consensual non-consent" into a relationship and thus establish power-dynamics that could otherwise not be achieved. Not knowing how far my dominant partner will go, what she will demand of me, how much she will let me suffer, is a very powerful tool to enforce compliance and introduce the aspect of genuine fear into the relationship. Serious abuse complemented by loving tenderness keep the submissive on a constant emotional roller coaster ride and imbue the dominant with a genuine sense of power. The power to punish and destroy vs. the power to exert clemency and build up.

Even though I do not seek to engage in extreme practices which incur serious bodily harm, I do long for said roller-coaster ride. In order to feel the relief and levity once she takes me to her bosom and caresses my still shaking and trembling body, whispering terms of endearment into my ear and gently stroking both the emotional and physical scars, it is necessary to go through a state of extreme discomfort and apprehension. My idea of establishing this power-dynamic is to establish the aspect of "consensual non-consent" throughout our relationship. Meaning I will be always at your mercy, all the time, knowing that you will only make use of your power sparsely and with the intention of keeping our special bond alive. This could manifest itself in SM practices that are mild, sensual and pleasurable for both of us nine times out of ten, but every now and then you will go right to the limit and beyond. Imagine we establish a common habit of tying me up and playfully teasing me, and exerting a little pain through a variety of methods. Usually I end up a little bruised and disheveled, panting, with bite marks and welts covering my body, we end up hugging and cuddling or I might be at your feet thanking and worshiping you. But sometimes when you feel extra cruel and think it is time to teach me a lesson, our interaction will take a dark turn.

For instance, I might be tied to a chair, gagged and blindfolded, but after teasing me by running down ostrich-feathers over my body and dripping hot wax on my genitals you suddenly smack me in the face so violently that me ears begin the ring and I almost lose consciousness, next you bury the heel of your stiletto in my foot and I begin to convulse and tremble, with all my muscles constricted I try my best to get out of the chair, which is firmly attached to the ground ... you let me struggle for a while then lean forward and whisper into my ear how much you love me while gently stroking my genitals and I calm down, not knowing where this is supposed to go and how far you will take me this time. Your sweet lovely scent, the anodyne voice of your whispers, the feel of your hair greasing my body do give me a sense of security for a moment, I stop panting and my body relaxes again. At this point our interaction might just go on like this, tender and loving, but this time around you have the desire for a little extra bit of violence. While the fingernails of you left hand run over my erect penis you lean forward and bite my left ear. First it's a tender embrace of your teeth, but it quickly evolves into an excruciatingly painful sensation, so much so that I genuinely fear that you are about to bite off a part. While I once more begin to shake and revolt against the cuffs that keep my hands and feet firmly attached to the chair you grab my balls with your left hand and begin to pull violently. Simultaneously you grip my throat with your right and start to choke me. Instead of releasing your bite it even grows firmer until the pain reaches a crescendo and you all of sudden let go. At this point I am almost in a state of shock convulsing and violently shaking my head while trying to scream through the ball-gag. It's been months since I was tortured like this and now I know that you will go all the way this time, cold sweat sets in, I wish I was strong enough to break free from bondage and run away. After a few minutes of intense struggle I run out of steam and resign, you are standing behind me now and laying your hands on my abdomen and slowing running them over my chest while scratching my torso with your fingernails. You kiss my bald head and remove the blindfold, lean forward and whisper "I have a nice little present for you my Darling." From above my head you slowly lower one pair of pliers, the kind carpenters do use to remove nails. You dangle the pliers in front of my face and ask: "So, Sweetheart what can we do with these, any suggestions?". I try to utter a few words begging for mercy, but all the ball gag lets out is a muffled groan and you reply: "What did you say, you have to speak up Darling! Did I hear correctly removing your front teeth?". I start to struggle again and begin to shake my head, but you grip my head from behind pressing the pair of pliers against my left cheek and the bruised ear, and whisper to my right: "Don't be silly my Dear, I had to remove the ball-gag and all the neighbors would know! No there are plenty of other body parts that deserve maintenance! Let us see what requires the most attention! How about this bruised ear of yours?" You open the pliers and grip my left ear lobe. While intermittently tightening and releasing the grip you whisper: "You know it looks pretty damaged and needs replacement! What say you, my Sugar Plum? ... What was that did I hear "YES"!", at that moment you let go of my ear lobe and use the pliers to mildly beat me over the back of my head and loudly say: "That's "YES Ma'am" to you, you good for nothing piece of horse manure! Next time I'll beat you into a coma with this thing. Is that understood?", I nod my head without uttering a sound and you whisper again: "Very good baby-love, I knew you'd behave! I also know that you understand that it is necessary. You know it must be done, for that is the way. I want you to be quiet from now on, do not resist, do not struggle, if you do it will all get worse, much much worse for you ... So my precious, I want you to nod one last time to signal your consent, not that you really have a choice, but you know how important this is for me!" I slowly rock my head back and forth and resign to my faith and you say: "Good boy, very obedient, I knew there was hope for you !", you come over to the other side and gently kiss my forehead, You look me deep in the eyes, I am in a state of despair, you can see sorrow and fear in my eyes, tears are forming and slowly descending down my cheeks. You lean forward and whisper: "Oh come come Darling, it's going to be alright, no need for tears! ... At least not now, better safe them for later, when you really need them!" You run your tongue over my left cheek and stop over my eye as if you were feeding off my tears. After a while you let go of me and position candles all around the chair and in special indentations on the backrest and the armrests of the chair. Once you lit the candles you turn on meditative music and turn off the lights. You lean forward, exert pressure on my genitals with your left knee and whisper into my ear: "I will remove the gag now, if you scream, it'll be your tongue! Is that understood my little cuddle bear?", I slowly nod while being eerily relaxed under the influence of the music and candle-light, I still have hope that everything will turn out fine and I will get out of this relatively unscathed. You return a beaming smile and slowly remove the ball-gag, you carefully sit on my lap in order not to blow out the candles. With your legs stretched out under the armrests, you hang the pliers on the backrest and begin to gently hug and kiss me, while stoking my erect penis. 10, 20, 30 minutes go by, the soothing and relaxing music, the candle-light and your tender embrace do teleport me into a state of complete bliss. After half an hour of teasing me you begin to gradually step up the pace and finally bring me to climax.
Panting and still shaking from orgasm I fail to realize what happens next, I only feel an odd sensation in my left toe, followed by excruciating pain. While I was rejoicing in the throes of orgasm you hand pulled out my left toe-nail with the pliers, and immediately when I started to scream stuffed a cloth into my mouth. I begin to tremble and convulse again, violently shaking my head, while you calmly blow out the candles and leave the room and lock the door, while leaving the music running ...