In my continual/never ending quest of self-reflection in the fetish/kink life, I keep getting asked/questioned on – what category do I fall under/who am I destined to be? A Sub, Slave, Pet, Sissy, Bottom, etc. - who knows but what I know for sure is that I’m clearly a destined to be a virgin/pussyfree for a very long time.

As I am starting to connect with more and more kinky/fetish friendly people, everyone keeps asking a simple question that for whatever reason I can’t give a straightforward answer. Why do I like chastity so much?

My answers varies/changes but I’m trying to find a baseline to my connection with chastity. I started to wear chastity out of curiosity/inquisitiveness. I was born/raised into a typical porn jerk/good addict, so the thought of chastity never made sense to me once I heard about it. Not being able to interact with the thing you enjoy the most?!

It’s like a foodie that can never eat again, an athlete that can never play sports again, or a musician that can’t make music - It’s torturous. Maybe these analogies aren’t the greatest comparison to me and chastity, but it puts into perspective to my inversely fascination with chastity. It's helping enhance/heighten my other senses that helps create that path that I am currently walking on.

With the help of chastity (both directly wearing it and indirectly fantasizing about it for years), it’s helping me understand one of my many questions/answers that I am in search for in life. As mentioned, I’m still not sure what role I play but I know that I’m clearly a submissive/beta male. Since the last few years, my love of femdom, sissy/trans, gay rubber porn have become the dominant porn choice but it really depends on my mood that day, however there is always a constant in any porn - CHASTITY.

I deserve it/it deserves me – simple as that. Before chastity, jerking off/cumming started to become so mundane, like an everyday house chore. Being in chastity keeps me in on constant edge and more importantly enforces that I truly am. I feel very comfortable when being following/being told what do – if someone wants to control me, easy just control my chastity cage lol. Chastity is helping me escape reality… I know it’s ironic lol.

With that I think I answered my first question so as for the second question, why am I now getting into censored/beta/sissy safe porn? That’s a good question, hmm.

Truthfully, it’s so pathetic on how much it’s actually turning me on, which I didn’t think was possible as I’m always on a constant state of arousal. If chastity is to control the physical touch and my urges to jerking off, then censored/beta/sissy safe porn is to control my eyes/mind and the visual stimulation that I crave.

I started to focus on this genre of porn because like the beginning of chastity, it really didn’t click with me. When I usually watch porn, I don’t actually feel submissive/beta, even when I’m watching humiliating/femdom porn. But now that I’ve started watching censored/beta/sissy safe porn – it makes me feel so weak, so submissive, so pathetic (I fucking love it). I know I don’t deserve pussy or to see girls naked that’s why it turns me on so much.

Typically, in femdom porn (usually femdom POV or JOI), the appeal of chastity is to provide a sense/fantasy of being controlled/degraded/humiliated because you don’t deserve pussy/sex. Honestly that’s fine, I can envision in my head what it would be like to have sex, but now with censored/beta/sissy safe porn, I don’t even deserve to even look at nudity?! You’re telling me all the porn on the internet will be pixelated, black bared, blocked/cropped or being told where/how to look (usually at feet, face, dicks, etc.)?! You’re telling me that I must visualize not sex, but the actual body parts boobs, ass, pussy, etc.)?!

:confused::confused::confused:But I’m already in chastity! You want to also control my eyes/what my mind wants/thinks?! I can probably her the obvious answers like “Yes”, “Of Course”, “Duh”, etc. lol. I think overall but its’ a continuation of training and acceptance. It helps me understand that a woman's beautiful body (or any gender really) is meant to be fucked and pleasured by people that deserve it... unlike a certain someone...

Idk I’m just starting, it maybe a phase, I may instantly just got back to watching regular porn tomorrow but for now lets see where this path leads me to. BUT what if I get so captivated by censored/beta/sissy safe porn that I can never go back to regular porn, that even the though of seeing nudity will make me....