Shitty Epic: Part 1

I am in the bathroom at my job sitting on the toilet. A janitor is in here noisily sweeping up. I hate it. I JUST WANT TO SHIT IN PEACE.

Shitty Epic: Part 2

Now he's humming an Elvis song. Nothing ruins the joy of a shit like the soft humming of another gentleman. I should shout out a request.

Shitty Epic: Part 3

AS he leaves, another guy comes in and sits in the stall next to me. I hope the smell of my dump gets stuck in his taste buds.