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So I think I know what is happing
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So I think my depression is kicking my ass secretly with out me knowing it was. I bet it knew I was on to it so it takes little pokes at my brain. Not the normal collapse but a gradual decrease like quicksand that you know you are doing down but meh oh well what are you gonna do. I have no sex drive and only come here to post this shit cause it's the one place no one I know knows me. I don't wanna talk to them that are all part of the problem. It's like I'm great till I can't help them then I have never done anything wrong and I am easy to throw out. I hate that I sound so dumb and I hold on to all the wrong things. I know that there are things that I need to do but can't manage to do them and when I do have the motivation I relize I am utterly alone so who cares. My options and wants don't matter as long as I am useful. This isn't a cry for help. I don't want sympathy I just need to scream and I can't do that with my mouth right now. Guess I am off to half ass doing chores and shit. Anyone else feel that they are avoiding what they should and know it but still can't seem to do it?
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Posted on : Oct 23, 2021
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