Chapter 6

Soave sia ilvento – Cosi fan Tutte

            Thealarm clock woke me up early. Today was the day.  I fly toCaracas.  I needed to finish mypacking, call my mom and get to the airport for a 6:05 PM flight from KennedyAirport to Caracas.  I shouldarrive in Caracas sometime around 10:00. My step-sister, Rachel, had made breakfast and helped me pack.  She was not happy to see me leave.  We held each other a long time andcried when the time came for me to leave. I promised to write.  And Iwas off – drying my tears in the cab, watching her standing on the cornerwaving, until she was gone.

            Thiswas my one chance; the opportunity to perform on a professional level.  As it turned out it was the peak of myprofessional singing career.  AfterCaracas I would never again perform at that level.  During my time in Caracas I came to understand that while Ihad a pretty voice and was a passable actress, I was not that good.  So many do not understand what it takesto be a professional singer.  Ittakes discipline, which I don’t have; it takes training, which I had a lot of;it takes a strong backbone and the ability to process rejection on a regularbasis, which I don’t do well at all; and it takes abnormal talent and skill, ofwhich I had a little.  During this timeI was able to come to grips with all of this and accept myself; to set asidethe visions of glory and settle into the gifts I do have and accept myself forthe way God created me.  It is notthat I did not fulfill my dreams – it is that my dreams were transformed. 

            AfterCaracas I returned to grad school, earned a Ph.D in musicology and embarked ona teaching career.  I married Gregand together we continued the lifestyle and maintained the sexual openness ofthe commune community.  And this issomething I would not have been able to do had my immature dreams of operaticfame come true.  During the threeyears I lived in Caracas I came to accept that I loved this openness; that Ineeded constant closeness and sexual intimacy.  I came to understand the sexual power that a woman couldhave over men and how to use this in a way that was not manipulative andselfish, but giving and gracious.  Eventhough I met no one during this adventure that recognized the pin, that pin andwhat it stands for became the center of my life, which has continued until today.  But I get ahead of myself…..

            Myflight was scheduled to leave at 6:05 PM. It was the last flight of the day. After I checked my trunk I waited at the gate for the plane to board andmunched on an apple and sipped some juice.   I had expected the plane to be full, but as I satthere watching the people arrive, there seemed to be not very many who would beon this flight.  It was interestingto watch the people.  Many of them werespeaking Spanish, many of them had the dark skin of a Latin Americanmulatto.  I noted a overweight manin a suit with his very adorned skinny wife; a group of girls dressed in tighttops and jeans; a small older woman who looked weary and tired.  I noted them all, admired theirbeautiful faces, looked at their bodies all of which were so different from theother.  My skin by contrast is verywhite, porcelin white; I was wearing a long skirt, a loose blouse and avest.  My blonde hair was pulledback and tied and I had a large hat and some sunglasses in my pocket, for the divalook (if I needed it – at night!). I wore panties, and for this occasion I chose to wear a bra, which was avery uncommon occurrence for me.  Ihardly needed it as my breasts were not large.  My bra size is 36 with a b cup with small pink nipples.  They are about the size of oranges butat this young age they were still perky, no sagging yet.

            ThenI noticed a young woman who stood out to me.  She was an American, not Latina.  She was tall with long dark brown hair.  As she stood in line I noticed she wascarrying a violin like case.  Irummaged through my papers.  I hadbeen told that there was one other musician who would be traveling on thisflight with me, where could that be….. Oh yes, here it is, Emmy Wilcox, the new principal viola for the orchestra.  I waited until she found a seat and Istudied her a little more.  She wasvery plain in her features.  Notunattractive, but she was someone who did not make much effort to make herselfup – no make-up, her long hair in a ponytail.  She was tall and skinny.  She wore slacks and a blouse, with an open sweater.  She looked as though she had no breastsat all.

            Ipicked up my stuff and walked over to where she was sitting.  “Hi, I’m Abi Saunders, you must be Emmy.”  She looked up and smiled – what beautifuleyes and when she smiled her face lit up. 

She took my extended hand, “Hi,nice to meet you Abi.  I guess weare traveling together for the same company.” 

I sat next to her.  “Yes, I am looking forward to it.  So you are in the orchestra.” 

“Yes, it is my first principalappointment.  I am excited aboutit.”

And thus began our friendship, afriendship that has continued to this day.  We talked and talked and talked.  When we got on the plane it was so empty we were able to getseats together so we could continue talking.  I learned that she was a graduate from Julliard, had wonmany competitions, including a prestigious award for a string quartet she hadplayed with.  But the group hadbroken up over interpersonal conflicts and so she found herself free toaudition.  She seemed to have nopersonal life at all.  Noboyfriend.  In fact, I got theimpression she had never had a boyfriend. She seemed uncomfortable with this topic.  I didn’t want to press, but I told her I had had a lot ofboyfriends and hinted that I had also had a few girlfriends.  She did not pick up on that.  Instead she changed the subject andstarted talking about how pretty I was and how it was not surprising I had lotsof boyfriends.

“You are also very pretty, andcould have boyfriends too if you want them.”

“I have no time for men,” shereplied dismissively.

“I can’t help myself.”  I said softly.

As the trip continued the pilotpointed out when we were flying over Puerto Rico and other CarribeanIslands.  I was excited and fascinated.  Emmy seemed less so.  But I noticed her watching me as Ibounced around from one side of the pane to the next in order to look out thewindows.  Finally I settled in myseat, covered myself with a blanket and closed my eyes.

I was not longer on the plane rather,I was in the common room on the commune and there was my mother, Karen, teachinga group of about 7 older teens, mostly boys, but a couple girls.  I was watching from the rafters.  There had been a “secret” passageway upto the upper level and places to slip in from which you could watch what washappening in the common room.  Ispent a lot of time in there with Rachel and my step-brother.  I had seen some really interestingthings from that perch and had some interesting experiences there.

I looked into the faces – Irecognize some of my old friends, many of whom I still was in touch.  There was Greg, there was Rachel, therewas my step-brother Bill and several others.  I looked at my mother. She was sitting on a stool talking, but I could not hear what she wassaying.  My mother was a beautifulwoman, with beautiful features, sparkling eyes, a small nose (which Iinherited), a warm inviting smile and long flowing golden blonde hair.  She was wearing her usual long skirtwith a loose blouse that hid her ample breasts. ( I may have inherited hernose, but I did not inherit her breasts.) Then suddenly I saw my step-father George come in and interrupther.  He had another couple withhim – it was Charlie and Marge.  Hespoke to the class as my mother sat submissively on the stool.  I could not make out what he wassaying, but she was blushing and I could hear some words here and there: wordslike “punishment, equal, rules.” Had she broken the rules? She was feisty, she probably had. I knew that all were subject to the rules of the commune – no matter whoyou were or your age.  I hadexperienced it and watched my friends and other family, but I had never seen mymother punished before.  Margestood behind her and gently rubbed her back.

Attention was all focused onher.  All were quiet.  Slowly Karen stood and she reached upand began to unbutton her blouse. When she got to the last button she pulledthe blouse from her skirt, opened it and removed it.  She handed it to Marge who folded it neatly.  She stood there with her beautifulbreasts exposed.  The students wereall silently watching, as was I.  Afew gasped audibly when her breasts were uncovered.  Then my George stepped behind her and unbuttoned the buttonat the waist of her skirt and let it fall.  Then with a quick motion her panties were around herankles.  She stood there for amoment with the skirt pooled at her feet and her panties around her ankles.  Otherwise she was naked.  She stood with her eyes closed, lookinglike Venus de Milo.  Her beautifulgolden triangle now also exposed for all. I watched with rapt excitement. This had not been the first time I had seen her naked or even stripped –but this was the first time I had seen it done with such a large groupwatching.

Without prompting she slowly raisedher arms as if in a trace and Charlie took the ends of a rope that was hangingfrom the ceiling and wrapped it around her wrists.  And there she stood naked and tied with her hands above herhead.  George took his hands andran them over her body.  Hesqueezed and lifted her breasts, pinched her nipples and then push his handbetween her legs as she spread to accommodate him.  By now Marge had picked up the skirt and panties and shetoo, along with Charlie were caressing her naked body.  My mother had her eyes closed and theexpression of her face looked like she was filled with rapture.

SMACK!  I jumped. Without warning George had spanked her on one cheek.  SMACK! - on the other.  Karen jumped and whimpered.  The others in the room jumped inreaction as well.  Marge ran herhands over Karen’s ass.  SMACK!SMACK!  Marge had spanked hertwice.  Then Charlie: SMACK!SMACK!  In between spanks 3 sets ofhands caressed and explored every inch of her body.  Then the ritual was repeated – 2 spanks again from each ofthe adults.  I could not seewhether Karen had started to cry, but she was whimpering and moaning louderwith every spank.  Slowly he turnedher around for all assembled to see the red hand prints on her ass.  There was a murmur.  George spoke and all of the young menand women in the class stood and came forward.  I was riveted. Each one in turn would have a few seconds to administer 2 spanks andthen to caress her body. 

The first young man to step up wasPaul.  He was someone who I knew tobe a very kind and considerate person. SMACK! SMACK!  He spanked Karen’sass and then he turned her back around as he caressed her breasts.  All the while Marge stood by gentlycaressing Karen’s ass to dull the pain. As Karen was turned back around in all her nakedness I looked again intoher face and was shocked to see that it was no longer Karen.  It was me!  I was naked! Stripped and displayed to all who were there watching and grabbing at mybody.  SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!SMACK!  I felt the spanks, I feltthe tingle between my legs, I felt the sting on the skin which turned to warmthwhich spread throughout my loins. I could not help myself, I was moaning..  I felt the ropes around my wrists.  I felt hands on my breasts moving downward.  I opened my eyes.  It was Greg.  He was looking into my eyes as his hand moved between mylegs and he pushed his fingers between my labia.  I spread wide. Wider.  He found my clit andpushed and rubbed her.  Wider!   Then two fingers poised toenter…….. he pushed them inside…. Deep…. I screamed in pleasure…..

“Abi, Abi, wake up!”  It was Emmy.

I opened my eyes.  I was on the plane.

“We will be there in about 30minutes.  Are you ok?”

I looked around.  I was still covered by the blanket andthen I realized my hand was under my skirt and my fingers were pushedinside.  I blushed and slowlyextracted my hand and lowered my skirt as best I could to not attractattention.  I was thankful that Ihad covered myself with the blanket. I hoped that Emmy did not notice. My fingers were wet.  I waswet.  I could feel the lovely messbetween my legs.  Not the righttime, I thought as I wiped my fingers and hand on the blanket.

“Yes, sorry.  I had a strange dream.”

“It sounded like it.”  She smiled.  I blushed.

“I need to run to therestroom.”  Emmy stood to allow meto slip out.  I pushed the blanketinto my seat and climbed out and headed to the restroom.  I looked around and saw others watchingme.  They all know, I thought.  Then I giggled and went to open therestroom door in the galley.  Itwas OCCUPIED.  “I hope not for longotherwise I will drip all over the cabin,” I thought.  I turned back towards the cabin and noticed that Emmy hadthe blanket I had placed into the seat in her hands.  What was she doing with it?  She was rubbing it on her face and… it looked like… .she wassmelling it.   I could notreally see.  But yes she wassmelling the blanket.   Then Isaw her take her fingers and rub them over the blanket and put them to herlips.  I was surprised.  “Not as pure as I was led to believe.”  I thought.