As I got into this alternative sex life prior to the advent of the Internet, the impact of being made a cuckold hit on different levels. I had no expectancy because it was all new, no resources to research to make comparisions, and no help to make sense or a sense of understanding about it. As a result to this day, I do not suffer with that common cuckold insecurity of cock size or feelings of inadequacy and inferiority that usually gets sexualised and all of its associated connoctations. 

But what I do have are emotional and sexualised attachments to certain visual and aural things that I have witnessed that insanely strips away any masculine objections tbat I would otherwise have in a non cuckolding scenario. 

One of those is the girth of a cock. I have several other fixations I will put in other posts, but girth was my primary visual stimulus when being cucked. If a guy who fucked a girlfriend was the same girth or less, regardless of his length, the experience would excite me, but not put me over the edge. I have found a mans girth is a good way to keep me cuckolded by both the guy fucking her and also the enjoyment level my girlfriend recieves from it.

This came about from a time when my first girlfriend cucked me with a guy she had fucked and decided to get in contact with him again for another fucking. The first time she fucked him I had no idea, but upon confessing to it a year later she said she enjoyed his girth. This intrigued me because I assumed his length would be more important. I have since learned perspective is everything and all women choose girth over length, every time. She called him up and he came over when I was out of the house. I was actually around the back waiting. He didn't visit for long to be honest. He literally came over, fucked her, then left. Nothing fantastic but the devil was in the detail.

They went into the living room and she knelt on the couch, legs spread, looking over the back towards the window. I watched through the window and saw him standing behind her and put on a condom. He then hitched her skirt, pulled her panties to the side and  pushed once, twice, three times at her pussy and sank his cock right up her in one strong shove. She caught her breath then spread her legs wider and he fucked into her. But something was wrong; he stopped and pulled out. He looked annoyed as he pulled off the condom and she looked back. He put on another one and again shoved his cock right up her and held it there. She liwered her head and he pulled out. Something still wasn't right and he removed the condom. But this time he grabbed her by the hair and stood her up. She grimaced while he put her up against the door and kicked her legs open. She put her arms on his shoulders as he wedged his hips into hers and her left left raised up and wrapped around his back. Up he shoved into her with no grace, but that of a rutting stag, lifting her onto her toes on the other foot as he rutted away. Thump, thump, thump, over and over again he swing his hips into her and it didn't take long but his solid exertions were well rewarded by a line of freshly spurted cum running down the inside of her leg from deep inside her pussy. He held himself in her until he finished and I could see that glistening line of cum like a stocking seam from the knee down only until he pulled away from her... and then I saw that incredibly thick girth of cock, wet with her juices and his cum, still standing as he stood back. Her gaped pussy saturated stared at me and the moment felt like an enternity. I was broken from my astonishment by her warm smile, a smile she never gave me and her words echo in my mind to this day, 'I missed this and I missed you so much. Your girth makes me cum.'

I was flabbergasted by all of it. I didn't notice her cumming, I was so shocked! It didn't last 15 minutes and there they were making arrangements to meet again. The problem with the condoms were comfort. His girth was making the condoms feel uncomfortable, so when he fucked her the last time, he was determined to just fuck her and get it done. And he did. Bareback.

Afterwards she asked what I saw but I never told her what I heard  'So now you know., nothing more to say or talk about as I wont be seeing him again', she said. I didn't tell her I knew about future arrangements and like that, she met him another dozen times I know about over the next three months. She lied to me about every single one of those meets saying she was going to her sisters.

As a result of that one time I saw them together I discovered new things that I sexualised later and jerked to for years to come. Girth, barebacking, lying and cheating, fucking standing up, force fucking, cum flowing, voyeurism, listening....So many things became a fetish including my girlfriend freely telling lovers how she felt about them. It practically made me an emotional masochist.