When I was younger, I thought something was wrong with me. When it was time to play house, I wanted the person who was playing mom or dad to punish me like the bad little girl that I am, unlike what most children do when they play house. I have been spanking myself since I can remember. My mom used to hang this paddle in the basement stairway, and when they’d leave to go somewhere, I’d run downstairs, grab that paddle, go back upstairs. I would make this last as long as I can, by forcing myself to take my pants and panties off in the door way, walk slowly over to the bed, rubbing the paddle across my bare ass cheeks as I go, telling myself over and over that I am about to get my bare ass punished, and I’m not going to be able to sit. I’d lay on the bed, always with a few pillows underneath my hips, ass and pussy up in the air, and I’d begin spanking myself. I’d make myself count, and sometimes be talking to someone imaginary, saying I’m sorry. I’d use things that I would really do during the day, such as lie to a friend, or cheat on a test. I was finally caught by my best friend in about 7th grade. We walked to school every day, and this one day, I had spanked my ass so hard the night before, that it hurt to walk or sit. I went to lean up against a tree talking to her, and I winced and jumped. She asked me what was wrong, and I confessed. She didn’t believe me until at school in the locker room, I bared my ass to her and showed her. She gasped at how bruised my ass was. The entire day, I was wet. Internet wasn’t big when I was a kid like it is to kids these days. Internet was monitored at school, and my parents were afraid of it, so they wouldn’t sign the permission slips for me to be on it. It wasn’t until I was in a loveless marriage with boring horrible sex that I got my hands on a computer. One day, I just typed in spanking, and I found all these sites, and I was shocked when I started seeing videos of grown men spanking grown woman’s asses, and them getting so wet. Up until this point, I’d only pretend during sex I was being punished if I wanted to cum. I started investigating more, and I realized that I was totally submissive. The man that I was with was abusive, severely mentally and physically abusive, and I didn’t want him to be my “master”. After years of torture, I finally left, and met the man of my dreams!! The very first night that I sat and talked with this man, I blurted out, “I’m a submissive!” He didn’t even blink, he simply said, ok. I sighed a sigh of relief. I have now encountered people who thought the fetish was weird, and I haven’t been dominated and treated like I really wanted and NEEDED. I did read that a truly submissive woman can try all she wants to live a normal life, and have a normal (boring) sex life, but inside, they have this burning need and desire, that is not being fulfilled.