When I was 12 my older brother's 15 yo gorgeous busty blonde girlfriend moved into our house. To be more precise - into my brother and I's bedroom. You can imagine how this will end. Or maybe you won't.

Being that age I immediately noticed Karen's attributes. I jerked off to her constantly. Then one day I found a pair of her panties in the hamper and sniffed them while I jerked off. Another time I wrapped them around my dick as I jerked off dreaming of her pussy. I started to notice I liked the feel of the fabric against my dick and one fateful day slipped her panties on and started jerking off. The next time I did so I looked at myself in the mirror whilst doing it and liked the way I looked in her pretty panties - imagining how sexy she must look.

Fom there I started adding layers - her bra, dresses / skirts, bikini's, shorts, tops, leotards lingerie and nightwear. Everyday I had the house to myself and everyday I tried on all her clothes. When I heard she had been shopping I got excited at the thought of what I was going to wear!

Karen had two pretty sisters (Cheryl 16 and Mandy 11). Thankfully Cheryl would come around to visit and sometimes they would head out to the beach and Cheryl would leave her change of clothes at our house and I would get to wear her bra and panties. Afterwards they would change and go out again and I would get to wear her bikini. This would thankfully happen with her friends as well.

I wasn't gay because I was jerking off dreaming of fucking these girls but I also jerked off dreaming off wearing their clothes. And so it remained like this through my HS years. My friends and I all wanted to get into the girls' panties  - except I wanted to wear them! I didn't date because I was so focussed on doing what I was doing  - I was jerking off constantly!

This continued for about ten years. Even though Karen moved out I was still able to visit her house (they even gave me a key) and I would go around most days and dress up(they moved into a granny flat at her parents house and I was able to access Mandy's clothes too).

My desire was to confide in a girl and tell her what I did but could never get the courage. I met so many girls I wanted to confess too but the thought of them telling friends and family stopped me.

I never married and I think most people assume I was gay. No-one asked and I couldn't tell them my fetish.

My family grew and my access to clothes increased and I looked through wardrobes and panty drawers and raided hampers every chance I got. Panties were easy to steal. I know some girls, wives and girlfriends probably suspected I was doing so but they couldn't bring it up either - but if they did I could probably unzip and show them I was wearing them secretly in front of them!

About ten years ago I started borrowing one of my niece's panties. As she grew and became I beautiful young woman I continued to watch her panties change to thongs and get sexier and sexier. One time I was housesitting and tried on her whole wardrobe - if only she had been their with me! Anyway I wore her panties everyday and jerked off imaging being her.

Then when she was 16 we were introduced to her first boyfriend - a nice black kid. Over the next five years they've gone on to get engaged and then this year married.

About a year ago I noticed I looked at them different. I use to think he was so lucky to have Hannah. I started imaging his big black cock in her mouth, her pussy, up her ass. I use to talk to her (secretly wearing her panties under my clothes) imaging his cock in her mouth or her face covered in his cum. Then I started thinking about his big cock. How lucky she is to have such a beautiful thing to play with. And before I knew it my dream to be her for her sexy body and clothes had morphed into me wanting to be her so I could have his Big Black Cock!

When I see her now I just want to talk about his cock or have her show me pictures and tell me what a cock slut I am. I want her to stand me next to him - my three inch dick pathetically placed next to his magnificent manhood.After she berates me for being a little dicked loser who is a sissy crossdresser she say's to me "You know what to do" and I obligingly drop to my knees and suck him off in front of her.

Hannah has a younger sister that looks like and has blossomed like Alex from 'Modern Family'. I dream that she has me and her husband stand naked in front of them both and she say's "Look sis, this is why you only date black guys". She gives me a pair of her younger sister's panties to put on and then I drop to my knees and suck off her husband.

So. Was I always destined to be where I am today? I don't think so. Some doors have been opened to me and I've walked through them. Another person might not have or may have and still ended up differently but I am where I am.

I would love to have my niece read this blog and have my dreams turn into reality.....

Joel