To set something of an explanation via pictures and the thousands of words each one is worth...

 Years ago, I opened this gallery: 

 https://www.imagefap.com/organizer/269924/PERSONAL

 

 Specifically, two folders were created to 'frame' what I sought and so desperately wished to find even though I knew down to the cores of my bones and the bottom of my soul that it was a matter of really damned LONG odds.

 

 This one: 

 https://www.imagefap.com/pictures/3052602/Dream-Wife?gid=3052602&view=2

 

 And this one to a small degree as only a few pics are relevant to my long quest:  

 https://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5765649/Favorites-Old-and-New?gid=5765649&view=2

 

  I have spent many, many years fighting an all-out and steadily-losing war vs chronic, progressively-debilitating conditions (Acute Rheumatism and complications) which stole my ability to do what I loved; woodworking and stoneworking as well as welding and metalworking.

It has stolen more than that from me, slowly, over time and left me a wreck, adrift and steadily losing more and more of my ability to live independently...and yes, that is a frightening thing to face, just think about it and the prospect of ending up in a state-run care facility.

 Then, one evening when I was falling into a deep black hole of resignation and despair, she found me...and saved me a trip to the liquor store to drown my brain into submission regarding acceptance of the lost war.

 

 Instead, I was invited out for a coffee, and from that little encounter in the local drugstore in the shitty neighbourhood I used to reluctantly call 'home' my new lease on life was given to me, 

 It was given to me by a woman I never, not ever, thought I would find in real life. A woman who opened her heart to me, who saw within me someone worth bringing into her life and loving.

 I owe her my life, and more than that...a debt of appreciation and gratitude I can never repay to my satisfaction.

 Yet, she feels that SHE is the 'lucky' one for finding me.

 My MommyWife (as she prefers to be referred to)  saved me from the hell of state-run care  and also plucked me from the apartment I had that was more like a tomb than a place to live.

 She took charge and took over control of my life from the first, and where some guys would protest, I was content to yield to what I could see was acts of love and caring. 

 Why? Why was I so ready to engage in a protracted and stealthy suicide??

 I was tired--fighting rheumatism, fighting my failing health, trying to get by in a world that claims to be helpful to the disabled yet is actually the reverse and harbors nothing but resentment towards us. I was tired of the pain, and to be blunt, I was looking to slowly kill myself with alcohol and prescription pain medications.

 Pain meds...fucking waste of money...all they do is put me to sleep, upset my stomach and leave me 'smelling' and 'tasting' bleach for days on end...I fucking hate pain meds. 

 I just wanted to get out of Hell.

 Then, an amazonian MommyAngel plucked me out of it, and took me into her life. 

 

 

 Thank-you for reading and visiting my galleries!