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Day one i guess
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Don't think anyone will read this or if I will even keep it up. I posted a few images of my self up here many years ago. I kinda need a place to vent and kinda wandered back here tonight. Well long story short my wife said she is leaving me. I am very much at a loss I can understand I haven't been back to work so we Covid and I am waiting for them to call me back and they haven't. I have been scared to look for another job. I didn't provide like I should have But I figured that all out way to late. I guess there is a chance that she is just angry and this is how she is expressing it or maybe this is it and she is really leaving I can't tell. I really dont want her to but I fell if she does I might spend so much more time exploring myself. Who knows. If you somehow read this short bullshit bit of my life and wanna take feel free to message me. Anyway I am pretty drunk and tired so I think I am gonna call it for today. Maybe I will be back to add more tomorrow who know not me I am don't trying to figure out what come next and focus on what happens now. Good night from someone not sure who they are right now
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Posted on : Sep 7, 2020
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Commented on Sep 12, 2020
You have a good point Onyx. For me personally, I would actually love it if my wife was being pleasured by another boi or gurl, especially bois with much bigger and stronger cocks.
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Commented on Sep 12, 2020
As a Former Pimp ( 22 years ago ) , I can tell you from experience that Woman not only want , but demand security. You can't stop her from seeking that. If she doesn't feel secure, she'll leave to either create her own security or find someone that is secure and devote her life to that person. Albeit another Man, Woman or Pimp.
Women are simple, yet complicated creatures. They feel that they should not have to tell you what's on their minds, as Men, we should figure it out. And Sadly Namelessissy, they are right. If you know your lady, you should know when she's pissed off, when things are out of order and when she's happy.
Women don't come with a manual. Every aspect of them is trial and error. It doesn't matter how well you treat her, if she doesn't feel secure, she's going to Artificially manufacture security and there's nothing you can do about it, except to let her be.
And most of the time, if they feel insecure, they won't come back. No matter how much you beg, and plead and cry. When their gone, their gone. What you have to do is learn from this and create a secure world for the next woman. Because that previous one is gone.
All of the thoughts that your having about her doing whatever, with whomever is true, that's what she's doing. She's found another Man or Woman and she's doing whatever you think and more. But she feels secure.
So. LETS RECAP. Women need SECURITY. They don't want to worry about Bills or Problems and if they have to think about it, their trying to find solutions.
You need to suck it up , buttercup and move on. Find another easier woman and spoil the bitch. Eventually the other one will come around sniffing gravy and when she does, act like you didn't even notice her.
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Commented on Sep 7, 2020
Hello darling,
My name is Zach and in some ways I can relate to what are going through. Well, I suppose I can tell you about it and maybe you can decide that for yourself. I am feeling lonely and uncertain about my own relationship with my wife. We used to have lots of fun together if you know what I mean. Then came longer work hours, an 80 mile commute (Which is especially atrocious in the Baltimore/D.C. area), and my son, who is 2 years old now. Over time, we have been and still are slowly drifting apart, have only had sex with her twice in 2 years, used to be everyday, sometimes more than once each day. Before all that, I was laid off from my job, which I loved, it was a perfect fit for my mind which never shuts off even though I am painfully shy and very introverted. Still haunted by that experience 4 years later, I never realized how painful losing a career could be. The way I see it, there is a difference between a job and a career. A job is dispensible and perhaps easy to replace. A career is an apparition that becomes a big part of your identity sometimes at a deeply personal level.
It was around this time that we started to drift. For 7 months, I tried again and again and failed again and again to find a new career. The endless hours of being at home, our retirement dwindling to nothing, our bankruptcy case discharged, my depression the worst it had been since the time I began recovery from alcoholism, thoughts of suicide once again a daily ritual, and finally hours upon hours of corporate prostitution in a desperate bid to get any attention just to get a goddamn interview. Well, it did end eventually, 80 miles from my home anyways. Any change in course from the downward drift between me and my wife from the exhilaration of being back in the workforce and finally having a steady means to support my family whom I love dearly and always will love so dearly was short lived as lethargy, crushing fatigue, and eventually becoming completely burned out ruined any hope of that happening.
Covid struck, but didn't seem to help. I have not even left the rural county I live in and have been working from home for 7 months and counting now but the drift continues. Just feel too tired to do anything about it and in between then have spent a lot more time on IF. It is a confusing mystery to me right now, perhaps it is a combination of many factors, covid being the final "ingrediant," but fantasies of trans women, gay men, and cucking that at one time, occupied my lustful desires only occasionally (albeit slowly increasing in frequency over time) have suddenly exploded in my mind with a voracious appetite to feed these desires. Women's feet have now and always will be my biggest weakness and I will forever be enslaved to my lust for them. But now I can't stop thinking about cocks, watching my wife being brutally fucked so hard, she screams in agonizing ecstasy, unimaginable euphoria so much so, it crosses the threshold of pain. I think of swinging, I think of being violated and fucked extremely hard by gorgeous trans girls with cocks that are so much bigger and stronger than mine. I dream of sucking cocks, I fantasize about laying in between my wife's legs, looking up while a gorgeous guy is just absolutely pounding and slamming her wet, gushing pussy, his big, soft, delicious balls smothering my face, rubbing his delicious ball sweat all over my face, leaving behind his powerful scent of pure masculinity that I can smell all day long, that sweet flowery/vinegar scent that makes me feel so good and how much I love being a bitch to his much stronger cock and the smell of my wife's feet on top of that, leaving me in a perpetuatel state of wonderful bliss especially of a stranger can smell me in public.
I better stop, I am hard as fuck right now. LOL.
But yeah, so many things that I used to either find repulsive or not at all interested in, or even embarrassed and ashamed of have suddenly brought me to my knees in quiet desperation to see these thoughts become a reality. At any rate, I am fully convinced that I am a bisexual boi and a very submissive one at that. The only problem is that I still hav a a virgin ass and I have only tasted a guy once. My wife is bi but I almost feel as if it is too late to go on these sweet adventures with her. She doesn't even know that I fantasize about her being with other guys or girls. I sometimes get a nice laugh thinking about her completely befuddled and utterly confused look the day she works up the nerve and mental preparation to confess her infidelity, which right now I hope is really happening, only for me to say "how big was he, did you cum for him? Can I watch next time or can I at least kiss you after cums in your mouth? Maybe all 3 of us next time? Maybe he can bring his wife or girlfriend with him and we can all suck and fuck the shit out of each other?" LMFAO!! I can just see her look.
It sucks though, none of this shit is happening, we're almost like strangers, and I don't have anybody I can talk to about what is going on with me or how to make sense of it all. I would never want her to leave, my life cannot go on without her. I am consumed by fear of her leaving yet lack the resolve to do anything about it. I don't know what to do and I feel so lonely right now.
Please talk to me if you want to. I read your post and I just want you to know that someone does care about what you shared... me. Otherwise, if I never hear from you, I can only wish the best for you and I hope you can feel me hugging you tight right now before I turn and walk away.
Hugz and sugar kisses my lovely friend,
Zach
- PLUR
P.S. going to look at your page real quick. If I see any pics of you, I will leave you with a nice little story I hope you like. 😊
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