Okay, I can't explain what happened to that last blog entry.  I didn't think I was that messed up!

The pandemic isolation is about nine weeks old.  I'm not sure what's cause or effect anymore.  I'm constantly horny.  I watch porn almost hourly.  Often stoned, cross-eyed and gooning incoherently.  Sometimes dressed.  Oddly, the erotic heat of my incessant craving has boiled my compulsion to a very high-octane blend; dopamine is in control.  Arousal is trance.  I drop quickly into sub-space, simpering, babbling, feminized, humiliated, tamed, docile, obedient and utterly, powerfully submissive.  

I never seek to cum.  The "game" is simply to spend time on the edge; to burn brain cells, force myself lower, "Deeper."  Sometimes I leak.  Sometimes I blow up completely, cumming myself cross-eyed and drooling.  This is my sex life.  Better than a sex life.  This is an erotic barn fire.  

A willing "victim," I become overwhelmed by the erotic intensity of my own surrender, and I freeze into a human cartoon of wanton lust.  There is no "afterwards."  The relentless arousal never entirely abates.  After a while I will melt back into motion, resuming chores and duties.  Mind is blank.  Lethargic.  Personality suppressed from within.  Too horny to think.  

Such is my new normal.  Tomorrow my Wife will be away for the day.  Oh, fuck.

/H