It's been 24 days now during this lock up. I'm doing rather well, all things considered. No ball pain, yet, but I know it's coming. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking about this, obviously.  If I want to become the slave I really want to be, I must learn obedience and discipline. As a slave, I must get my pleasure from suffering. I must not get pleasure from orgasms. 

I really need, and want, to learn this. I'm still having a hard time wearing my panties, as I tell myself I msut do. I need to concentrateon that, I think.