As a teen, I constantly suffered feelings of inferiority, a painfully self-conscious loner, spending a lot of time by myself, much of it masturbating in bedrooms and bathrooms. This all got worse when family moved to a new state, and I found myself lost in a huge high school class of almost 1000 students, where I had no trouble guarding my anonymity. Things changed when I was 17 and got sort of fostered in by a group of misfits who hung out with each other as an Explorer Scout group. Probably, they recognized me as someone they could count on to be an easy follower. 

One weekend the four of us went on a trip together, driving to Chicago to attend a regional gathering, a conference of some sort. We spent two nights in a makeshift group room, which we turned into a party room. Saturday evening turned into a drinking bout, and I put away so many beers that I was beyond control. Apparently, I reached a point of blacking out, because I only remember short segments of time separated by missing hours where there should have been memory, but was so much blank tape.. In one of those flashes of clarity there I was masturbating openly! I was lying back on a bed with my feet dangling near the floor, my underpants and trousers around my ankles and my hand stroking and pleasuring my rigid cock. I had no idea what led up to that moment, but there I was putting on a show for everyone, which included not only my friends, but others who'd apparently been invited to the party. In spite of my drunkenness, I still remember the silence in the room as everyone stopped and watched as I shamelessly jacked off, being vaguely aware of how egregious my behavior must have been to everyone, what a compulsive sex freak they were watching... but that wasn't enough to stop me, so I have this crystal clear video in my mind of a minute or two of being the center of attention of a half dozen 17 year-old boys watching me masturbate as if I was alone in my room but the walls suddenly disappeared so everyone could see what a pervert I was.

The next segment of time was lost to my consciousness, and the next memory I have was waking up hours later, still lying in the same position, exposed, half naked, sticky-fingered, limp dick, cum on my belly. Amazingly, no one spoke of the incident the rest of the weekend.

However, when back in our home town, the next week, at school when I was in the lunch line holding my tray, a girl next to me suddenly recognized me and said something like, "Hey, I heard about your trip to Chicago! Sounds like you had a good time." And then her face sort of knowingly wrinkled up and she was looking at me out of the corners of her eyes. I was horrified as I felt a flush of heat rush to me face. I must have turned a brilliant shade of red as she moved away from me with a look of confusion or repulsion or something that left me mortified. 

 My mind race... Who knew? Everyone? Were people pointing at me behind my back, "That guy, yeah, he's the one that jerked off while everyone watched. Yeah, a real freak show!!"