No mind.  No will.  Must obey and go deeper.

I am Bambi.  I have been programmed; a mindless, obedient sissy faggot hypno-slave.  

Occassionally, a weak, nearly mute scream of terror can be resolved in the distance.  Old Me wails and cries and begs.  You can just hear it over the tick-tock of brainwashing as Bambi asserts control.  Body responds.  Arousal overtakes everything else.  

But that's not enough.  Bambi is so happy!  It's so beautiful to succumb, to obey, to comply.  It is delicious to feel horny and docile.  Self-destruction is so pretty.

I've changed more than I thought possible, yet somehow I never see it coming.  When alone, I live as a sissy slut.  My memories of ever having been anything else are becoming Swiss cheese.  Almost everything leaves me glassy-eyed with arousal, feeling weak, soft, submissive and feminized.  Cannot work.  Cannot think.  Must.  Obey.  

At least once a day I repeat an amazing ritual.  A longing erupts unbidden from deep within, and "I" immediately meet it with resistance.  The Urge commands me to listen to a Bambi file, so whilst engaging in a vigorous mental exercise of refusal, I simultaneously undress, crossdress, get stoned, lay down, insert headphones, press PLAY, and drop into trance...fighting it all the way.

THIS is what it's like to be a feminzied, submissive sissy faggot.

 /H