I have lived and worked in China for the past 5 years.  I only mention it because I was talking with some Chinese women the other day about age.  I love when people ask me how old I am and I tell them to guess.  I am never sure if they are being nice when they say late 20's or 30.  But most people guess somewhere between 33-36.  Then I am tell them I am really 43.  They are always surprised.  I tell them my youthful appearence is because I try my best to be posistive and act like a 20 year old everyday (well that and I never had children, ha ha).  I mentioned China, because most Chinese women will quote some old Chinese saying at this point "A man in his 40's is a flower in full bloom" (or something around those lines).  Anyway, this got me thinking.  

I know most women think it is unfair.  Women start off beautiful and sexy...then they slowly loose their looks (although, Salma Hyak, is in her 50's and looks incredible), while men seem to grow in attractivness.  But really I think the key difference is that time/experience... it makes one more confident and confidence is very sexy.  

I remember when I first got into the BDSM, Dom/Sub scene, in my 20's.  No-one really gave me the time of day.  Most of activites invovled a girlfriend who wanted to try getting tied up of a little extra kinky fun etc.   Back then, I remember asking a more experienced Dom for some advice.  How does one even bring up the subject.  I used to joke, when a girl asks you what kind of things do you like?  You can't simply say "well...I love to tie women up, spank and whip them from time to time, treat them like a pet, yet at the same time love them and give them the most mind-blowing orgasms they ever had."  That older more experienced Dom, simply asked "why can't you say that?".  At the time I scoffed.  Again I had only ever tried to get kinky with girlfriends, who I didn't want to scare away (There was one ex who did find my kinky porn stash and did run away).  

Now flash forward to just the other night.  I was out on a date, with a very attractive 33 year old Chinese woman.  It was all very nice and vanilla (Never underestimate the power of being a classy, respectful, gentleman).  I got asked if I was married and I said "no", which like my age, is a surprise (in China anyway).  But then very casually and confidently I told her simply,  I am not against marriage, it just has never happened for me.  For starters I do not ever want children and this a deal breaker for most women (especially younger ones).  Secondly and perhaps most importantly, I am an hedonist.  I live for the all the pleasures this world hs to offer.  I am a very sexual person. While I enjoy the romantic "making love" you see in films from time to time, I prefer the wild, sweaty, animalistic sex.  I enjoy BDSM, dominace and submission, it doesn't have to be public or outside the home, but it needs to exsist for me.  (PS- Thank you internet and 50 shades of Grey, for making BDSM so much easier a subject to bring up these days).  Then I said something along lines of, that is also a deal breaker from many women, and that's okay.  There is no pressure.  I can always do simple friendships with no romantic or sexual activites of any kind.   If my 25 year old self could hear me now.  The student had become the teacher.  

Now the younger, more inexperienced people reading this now might ask, "yeah, okay, great, your no longer shy about bringing your preferences or lifestyle up, but does it work?"  The short answer is yes!  While no, it does not always end up with that woman in my bed.  Some women do walk away, and that is entirely okay.  But I am no longer wasting my time, spending months trying to figure out if they are into it or not.  And the ones that do stay?  Well, now I already know that they are interested, now I can immediatly explore and test their limits/kinks.  Also, it is amazing just how many young, sexy 20 year olds I get.  They are not looking for marriage from me, they are looking for something they will remember the rest of their lives.  For them I am a few pages in their diary or a good story for their girlfriends.  A memory to be cherished years later when they are married to that decent man and have a couple kids running around (which I will tell that as well, and most are immediatly on board). I should also add, that if they do stay or show interest, I am very upfront and honest that I will always respect them, I would never do anything to truly hurt them, put them in danger, or make them feel unsafe.  I am actually the one person they can trust with their very lives, the rest of their life.   

I am a flower in full bloom, my friends.