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I have a fantasy that one afternoon after lunch I call my wife at home. After about four or five rings I'm just about to hang up when Robyn finally answers the phone. "Hello". "Hi sweetheart". "Oh, Hi honey". Robyn says sounding a bit cheerful. "What are you up to this afternoon"? "Oh, nothing really," she says. "Just hanging out and having a little snack." While I'm talking with Robyn I start to hear some noise in the background. The noises aren't really that loud but they are noticeable. "Suck . . Suck . . Ummmmm . . Slurp . . Suck . . Slurp". "Okay well I will probably be home late tonight. I have to go to a meeting with a client and it might take a while." "Ummmmmm . . Slurp . . Okay honey, . . Slurp . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp . . What time do you think that you will be home . . Suck . . Slurp . . Slurp?" Now the noises are just a little bit louder and more noticeable. "I'm not to sure", I say. "Probably around eight or so. Sorry honey, I didn't know about this until about an hour ago." "Slurp . . Slurp . . Oh, that's okay honey . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp . . I wasn't really planning to do anything anyway . . Slurp . . Slurp . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp." "Honey, what's that noise"? I ask. "Are you eating something?" "Slurp . . Slurp . . Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm ah, I'm sucking on a popsicle. I didn't mean to be so loud." "No, that's fine," I say with a little laugh. "It sounds like you're really doing a job on that thing." "Oh, sorry, " Robyn says giggling. "Slurp . . Slurp . . Suck . . It's one of those big thick ones and you gotta really suck on it before gets all over." "Well," I say. "By the sound of it you're gonna have that thing finished in no time at all." "Suck . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp . . Suck . . Slurp . . Well yeah". She says, still giggling. "That was kind of the plan." Suck . . Suck . . Suck." "Do you want me to let you go so you can finish." I ask. "No." Robyn says giggling even more. "Stay and talk to me until I finish this thing. Slurp . . Slurp . . Suck." "Okay, " I say. "As long as it's not that much longer." "Suck . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp . . Suck . . Slurp . . It shouldn't be too much longer . . Suck . . Suck . . Slurp . . This thing is almost ready, . . . I mean it's almost finished. Tell me about this client." Robyn knows quite a bit about my work so I don't hesitate to talk about the client to her. "Well, do you remember that customer from Boston, the one with the big warehouse?" I ask her. "Ummmmm, . . Ummm hummmm . . . Slurp . . . Slurp." I figure that her mouth is full so I just continue. "Well there seems to be a problem getting shipments there because they are doing construction on that bridge on the main road. You know, that green bridge that goes over the river?" "Slurp . . Slurp . . Ummmm, . . Suck . . Slurp . . Suck . . Ummmm, hummmm." "Well until they get the bridge finished we are having a hard time getting trucks in there because they can't make the corner coming from the other direction." " Ummmmm, . . Ummm . . Suck . . Suck . . Ummmmmmmph!, . . . Slurp . . Suck . . Slurp . . . Ummmmmph!,. . . Slurp . . Slurp . . Slurp." "Robyn, are you okay?" I ask sounding concerned. "Ummmm, . . Ummmm, Hummmm." She mumbles and I hear her lips smack . "Yeah, I'm fine." She says smacking her lips again. I just finished." "Well it sounded like you were choking for a minute." "Oh, Sorry," she says giggling again. "I got a little carried away there at the end. Some of it came out of the the corner of my mouth. I tried to get it all but I got some running down my chin." " Maybe next time." I say. "You'll get one that isn't so big." "But the big ones are the best." She says. "Okay then," I say with a little chuckle. "If that's what you like who am I to argue. I'll see you when I get home sweetheart, I love you." "I love you too." She says and hangs up the phone.
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