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i promised to myself to write this blog... so here some things about me
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Hi!
Sorry, i will show some skin, or some play... but i have to convince myself to do it... or you can convince me, just pm me with some nice words...
, i just wanted to express that I dont want to do a wrongly lighted, badly positioned crappy fotosession with my phone, and the bathroom mirror... just I saw that a million times here, 4chan, and a few discord channels....
So start again... Hi.
I'm Andrea here... Andreas everywhere else
Ma is the short form of my lastname... so I use it like Maandrea or Maandris.
I have a life.. difficult to explain, no free time in my hand and absolutely no privacy....
I was ... i wantrend... i think i always felt like i was supposed to be born as a girl... but something went wrong... But my country was never that forward with gay, trans etc. rights, or even exposure to that....
so when I was a kid, there were zero to none gays or trans in films... or the few that was, was the wrong kind, the bad stereotypes, and the parodies....
The first time I saw gays in a film was in the Police Academy, the blue oysters scene, and i didnt understand what was that and noone explained it to me back then...
the best thing happend when i found some second hand porn magazines, with lesbians... so I wanted to be a lesbian. I wanted to be a woman, who have sex with other womans... well it wasn't clear the, how they do it.
Back then when I was a teen boyy, high on my hormones, i tried dating girls, got into fucking artound. It was nice, but i couldn't held a relationship, everything was empty, or worse, full with lies...
Leaving home, for the uni, was giving me a lot of freedom, and acces to internet, so .... i started the downhill of fetish porns... lesbians, strapon, shemales, forced feminization, crossdressers, sissies, cuckold, chastity.... also bdsm, latex, watersports
but it was just that, porn I happened to watch, and enjoy... and get off to...
But in real life it was harder to maintain myself, beeing hetero, working for a disfunctional relationship, which in the end remained sexless... (without much more details)
A few years ago, this cognitive dissonance excaleted to almost a mental break down... and i had to at least starting to accept myself.
So I started... i tried to talk about it someone... in the end anyone, but i failed. So my two life is more seperated than ever, but at least i'm aware of it now....
The last few weeks I started hitting like on pics and galeries, and PEOPLE i liked (before that, I only just saved it on the computer for further.... research purposes)
I started secretly buying stuff (not few weeks, but lot of months ago).
Started trying out butt stuff, in which im a beginner, but i like it so far.
Started looking out dating sites... but without success... a lot of people are too lame, the others are inaccesible... or behind a paywall...
I'm almost at the point where i will pay for it....
sometimes i sleep in a silky red bra under my tshirt, sometimes with a plug, or a ring....
a few times i tried filling the bra with socks, luftballons with hot water, bags of rice....
and lately, i can hardly visualize sex, without the other one having a cock or a strapon.... the only exception would be a woman forcing me to eat her out.... oh but I like eating pussy... or ass.... and i would do even, if it were filled by me, or by someone else....
sorry if its long,
i'm here right now, my only regret, not nowing mysel like when i was 16... it could have been a very different story then....
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Posted on : Jun 3, 2019
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