In any ancient village pub there is always an elderly man sitting there propping up the

bar. He is often a real village character - almost part of the fittings you could say.

Full of local information, he can also tell a funny story or two. This is yesterday's. 

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots

she really loves. The husband says dismissively, "No chance my love, they're way too 

expensive."

Later on in bed, the wife is just about falling asleep when the husband

tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and from there lower onto

her thigh. She senses what is about to happen, pushing his hand away.

She turns to him and in a firm, but sleepy voice and snaps, "I don't think so mate.

If you're not prepared to shoe the horse, then sure as hell you ain't

riding it!"