At one time, I was known to be standoff-ish and more than a little bullheaded. However, I have been undergoing a feminizing hormone therapy for the past couple of years. Let's just say that I'm relatively tame nowadays and no longer one for challenging my contemporaries by means of argument.

That said, I have drafted this fictional expression of a very deep rooted phobia that continues to haunt me as a means of being able to relate this internalized dilemma to others.

Okay, sure, there are any number of people who I've been an ass to over the years... those who wouldn't hesitate a moment to start the social whisper regarding the curious, ever-so apparent spurts of physical growth and oddly familiar psychological traits that I often radiate without intention... characteristics that I am no longer able to avoid, conceal, or deny.

Naively overlooked on my part, and perhaps intentionally orchestrated on his, a deliberate social interaction resulted in a flood of emotions that soon betrayed both my heart and body. Being more emotionally vulnerable now than ever before, it seemed to take very little effort for a romantic seduction to give way to complete sexual surrender.

It is too late by the time it occurs to me just what I had got myself into... I am being viciously hate fucked by one of my peers.

A.... former peer.

A man who could barely tolerate my aggressive, combatant approach to our professional interactions back in the day. Something that I said, but God only knows what, had got under his skin and he apparently never forgot.

However, this is a far cry from the inner-office dick wagging that made for the daily water cooler gossip that fueled much of the animosities back then.

But,you see, there is much more at stake now. This is the very first time that I have disrobed in front of anyone since beginning the estrogen therapy two years ago.

This fiery aggressor who now towers above; looking down at me with a wolves grin... inspecting me...

He unzips his trousers to reveal a secret of his own... a male organ so enormous that I immediately recoiled back in shock, trying in vain to squirm out of the hold he had on me...

***

He showered, dressed, and was long gone before I dared to move from where he had finished up with me. Only as I attempted to stand did I become aware of an alternating throbbing of pain and numbness that near deprived me of my ability balance myself as I staggered my way into the bathroom.

Revenged or avenged?

At that precise moment, I certainly felt as if he could have taken home trophies for both.

It wouldn't take long before word had spread around which immediately resulted in my once male-privileged, social role status being permanently revoked.

Once and for all and forever.

Nowadays, this new social identity of mine constantly hurls the unexpected expectation at me. So fast in fact, that there aren't enough hours in the day to lament the demotion from what is now a fast fading memory of attachment to any masculine trait.

Albeit, I will on occasion, still cry my self to sleep at night when I am reminded just how awful it was to be hate fucked and socially branded as that "stupid bitch who got everything she ever had coming."