So as his graduate student he's used to seeing me, sometimes every day. These things happen. Crushes. He wasn't used to seeing me as i let him see me in a text sent to his phone late in the evening three days ago. Me, just me, in my undies. No shirt. Just my little thong panties, looking nice and cute, butt up in the air... "What do you think?" I wrote.

 He wrote back some time later, with obvious apprehension. He's not married, but he has a fiance. But she's gone and left him alone for two months. Sorting out some baggage of hers in another state; what does she expect? Intelligent warm friendly man like that? From friendly discussions amidst 'on topic' conversation, he seems to allude to the fact that he hasnt gotten laid recently either. She's been gone three weeks. I think it's been longer than that.

He wrote me back to say he didnt want there to be trouble. Trouble between he and I. Trouble with him and the university, inane policies regarding student-teacher interaction despite all parites being adults. Trouble with our working relationship. He seemed almost apologetic. He left off saying he would not report me but that it was inappropriate to go further. 

 I asked him if he like my picture. He didn't answer.  I asked if we could meet for coffee on Saturday, he said yes.

 Oh males you beautiful amazing hapless creatures! There is such strength and determination and confidance in the best of you and such resolve and principled action. Men can be oh so driven for the causes they choose. But men have such a weakness they often times scarcely grasp how easily they are swayed. By lust. By whatever manly vigor we call hormones their nuts are pumping into their hot blodstreams. 

Coffee was friendly, cordial even. He was reassuring me that I hadn't screwed up our friendship or working relationship. The subtext was there, ever present, and he was just smiling it off. I wasn't about to let him off so easily. I was polite but feigned preoccupied and serious. Oh-so-serious. 

 "I just dont want you to think I would ever do anything to get you in trouble." I said, direct to the point, serious holding my eyes fixed on his.

He stammered, still smiling, but I could tell his plan to smooth his way free was not working.  That's when he glanced at my chest. Now, I'm not necessarily busty, but I dress well to show off 'what I got and dressed strategically for this occasion. The guise of going to the gym later, I wore a black sports bra, and a cute little white summery tank over it. And, to be honest, I was feeling exhiliration at being there talking to him and kind of putting him on the spot about MY desires... that is to say... pokies. ;-> How nice for him, and yes, his eyes darted there and back and he was nearly flushing. He sat back, having said his bit. I smiled and sucked some more boba up through a fat red straw, looking him in the eyes.

"Well I.. have to go" he said at last. We'd had our drinks and I'd let the jovial conversation go silent and... tense.

"Um, oh, ok!" I said smiling, trying my best a calculated concern. "You're sure it's ok? That I texted you? I'm sorry.. I'm not in trouble?"

 "No, Kayte you're not in trouble. It's ok. Really. I just want you to be aware, thats all. Listen, I'll see you on Tuesday in class."He smiled and again did his best to shrug the whole thing off. I didn't smile. I was still serious. This time i let him see my eyes dart down. To his erection in his pants. I'm 24 and know a thing or two.  He's 38 and should know better.

______

 I waited until after I had had dinner that night to text him:
"So you don't think its a good idea for a teacher to date a student?" simple and clear.

"Kaytie, no, I don't." 

I then wrote back:
"I hope you know that I'm not necesarily talking about dating, Dr. S.  Just a thought:

-Kaytie"

His answer took several minutes. I thought for sure I'd gone and done it; totally alienated the guy, or pissed him off to the point that he really WAS going to call the school system on me. I'd get kicked out of the grad program and have to move back to North Carolina, a disgrased single 24 year old whore who was now destined to live out my life in pennance for my crimes.

"Kaytie this is becoming difficult."

I found myself knowing just exaclty what to say... I was giddy and in a sort of trance it seemed.
"Difficult?  In what way? Im sorry to be causing problems for you; I don't think that you need to let any of this become a problem."

"I don't want to get you in any trouble." he wrote. So... it's all about ME, is it?

"I'm sorry.. I don't want to get in trouble either.. please, what are you going to do?" I wrote back, calling him on it.

"Kaytie, as I said, I'm not going to report you. I respect you and think you are an excellent student and don't want you to go throwing away your carreer over something as silly as all of this."

"Dear Dr. S. I feel releaved and thank you. But I think maybe you are worrying too much anyway. But I also think you should consider something that I have been thinking about a lot also.

In reference to calling all of this discussion between two adults 'silliness' I would just like to ask, do you consider THIS to be silliness?

-Kaytie. 

Dr. S:  "oh my-GOD."

Me: What's wrong?

Dr. S: "Kaytie, do you have any idea what you are doing to me?"

Me: "I have an inkling. But tell me."

Dr. S: "... Again. Making things difficult."

Me: "difficult or HARD? he he he ;-D"

Dr. S: "..."

Me: "Because this is what I whish I was doing to you.

I am serious. You know that. But i dont think you can possibly understand HOW-I-WANT-YOU.
-Kaytie.

 To sit back and read his responses from that point forward was to be filled with the sheer delight of a front-row seet to see a man undoing himself with lust. 

Dr. S:  "..."

 
Dr. S: "oh my god."

Dr. S: "FUCK. Oh my FUCKING-GOD."

Dr. S: "Cant think. Trying to finish prep for tomorrow's classy."

Dr. S: "Took cold shower. Went for a run. Talked to Elizabeth (his fiance).
Dr. S: "Heart pounding again."

Me: "I think you should come over to my apartment. I live just off campus. [123456] Winters Ave, No. 2. It sounds like somebody's getting himself all worked up into a frenzy!  

I can hardly wait!  -Kaytie

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