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    My darkest fantasies

    I have been tasked by Mistress Zema to write out my darkest fantasy. The one that pushes me over the edge when I masturbate. The one I'm ashamed of for even thinking about, yet the one that keeps coming back.
     
    This is the story of my ex wife and myself.  First, I'll need to give a little background.
     
    Our relationship started highly sexually charged.  Not just standard play, but rather kinky roleplays and attempts at BDSM.  In time, it would mellow out for the most part.  She had previously experienced many fetishes with others before me and knew they were not for her.  As for me, I was greatly interested.  I had always craved to hear about others sexual experiences, the more taboo the better.  I don't always want to experience them myself, yet I always desire to understand the mindset from both the giver and receiver of all kinds of play.
     
    I had a very good loving relationship for 4 years. My girlfriend and I had overcome adversities from her parents, moderate poverty, losing pets, losing friends and much more. We had been dreaming for years of owning our own home. We saved for a long time, sacrificing our date nights, superfluous spending, vacations, and more. We finally had a fantastic realtor who helped us purchase our dream home. It took over 6 months and during that time things began to degrade in our relationship.  We were depressed, feeling constantly defeated with each hurdle in our attempt to get our house.  In the end, when we finally signed the papers, walking in almost felt surreal.  We felt as if this was all a tease and someone would be calling up in a few days to tell us it was off and get out.  Luckily enough that didn't end up happening.  We finally had our dream home.  Things were supposed to be good right?  All of the plans we had to decorate and play?  Don't most people have sex all over the house as soon as they got it?  Seems all we got was tears and sore backs.  

    Things became better for a while.  We realized we had saved up way more money than we needed and were able to finally go out and enjoy ourselves.  During our relationship I had started my own IT business.  It was only a 1 man operation, yet I made it rather successful.  I had also obtained a job with a steady IT company.  I was working 60-80 hours per week between the 2 jobs.  She was working 20-30 hours per week at a local restaurant.  She didn't make too much money, yet it helped with the bills and the tips she was able to use to purchase things she wanted.  

    I loved her, she supported me through all of my successes and failures.  I wanted to give her anything she wanted.  She gave confidence to a man who originally had none and opened me up to so many worlds.  She loved and cared for me.  Cheered me on and was patient when I would need to work an 18 hour day to make enough money to pay for rent that month.  We weren't perfect, but we had each other.

    After 6 months or so of living in our home, she started becoming a bit distant.  No longer making love more than once per week.  I continued to work long hours, needing to ensure we didn't lose the house we worked so hard for.  We ended up getting married in a small private ceremony.  We told nobody about it until after.  My hours began to bother her.  She was no longer happy with a simple life and felt like she was going nowhere.  I had no extra money to help send her to school and we had no credit for additional loans.  I began granting her more and more of an allowance from what she earned from her job.  I quickly ended attempting to have savings for myself as I am a man of few needs.  As months went on, paying bills became harder and harder.  I was still attempting to work hard, yet the further she drifted away the less motivation I had to work.  We began missing payments on bills, than a very bad few turn of events made a very drastic downturn in our relationship.  We stopped having sex all together, she never wanted to kiss me and wouldn't allow me to sit on the same couch as her.  
     
    I reached the darkest point in my life I had ever experienced.  Imagined things I never figured possible for me.  None of them good.  I knew this was bad, yet had no idea how to fix it.  I tried so many times.  Tried buying gifts, offering massages, drinks, food, anything I could think of.  We ended up finding we needed more in our lives.  We opened our relationship up.  We both found a form of happiness.  I realized I was bisexual and ended up experimenting with a few local men.  For her, she fell in love with a friend online.  This helped motivate me again.  Our relationship began to improve, yet we still were not having sex.  I supported her relationship with the man who became her new boyfriend.  She supported my relationships.  

    We ended up moving a friend of hers into our home.  He was having a horrible home life.  He was a good guy, it didn't hurt he was hardworking and cute.  I ended up paying for his move as well as all of his food and needs for the next few months.  Things were OK at first, yet she ended up having more interest in hanging out with her friend than her husband.  I fell back into the hole I had been in only a few months before.  At this point it had been about 6 months since I had any sex (I had only a little play with my boyfriend at the time).  She fell in love with her boyfriend on the internet.  

    She had been taking money from our account which drove me insane causing many fights.  Still trying to find out how I could save my marriage I was browsing cuckold captions and finally had an idea.  Perhaps I should stop trying to be her lover.  That's not likely to ever happen again is it?  At least the way things are.  I came up with an idea.  I was so energized it was amazing.  I brought her upstairs with me so we could talk.  I mentioned our relationship wasn't working in its current form, yet I'm not ready to give up on it.  I discussed a cuckold relationship with her.  She had a dumbfounded look on her face.  She definitely didn't see that coming.  I mentioned I would take some of the money I earned from my business and give it to her.  In addition, I would fully support her relationship with her boyfriend.  I told her the only thing I would need is some domination and control.  She needed to push me to earn more money and work hard.  I would give her 5% of whatever I earned and she just needed to make sure I kept at it.  I told her this would motivate me to feel like I'm earning money for HER and not the banks.  With that, she agreed and gave me the words I would grow to love... "Go make me some fucking money." 
     
    This motivated me like CRAZY!  I had a few wildly successful months following this.  During this time she increased the amount I owed to 10%, than 15% as she wanted to raise money for new clothes, shoes, games and more.  She also wanted me to raise money for a vacation for her.  She wanted to visit her boyfriend for a week.  We had a give and take relationship.  I gave her money and helped make her happy, she gave me orders and helped keep me in control.  She gave me her old panties and I began wearing those off and on.  My naughty little secret.  

    She would Skype with her boyfriend from time to time.  I loved it.  She would be in our bed with her laptop playing.  I loved to hear her moan down the hall.  I would always go to my office and masturbate thinking of my wife exposing herself to another man.  

    She did end up getting her vacation.  She fell deeper in love with him.  I myself was falling for a man I had met.  I had raised over $500 within about a month and was promised great rewards for a big payoff.  I double the minimum amount required.  When she came home though, I got nothing.  She began giving me less and less attention, yet still demanding her payout.  I went back to my dark place...

    She soon came to me with a proposition.  She wanted to move him in.  We had talked about this. I knew she loved him more, yet I was still her husband.  I had no problem with him living with us and I actually liked the guy, but she wanted to sleep in the same bed as him.  

    Within the next couple of weeks I caved in... I put the meager amount of savings we had accrued and moved him down.  Her friend at this point had finally gotten a job.  Still trying to recover himself, he had no money to help pay the bills.  In addition, we seemed to be collecting cats.  5 in our house at this point.  It was a madhouse.  

    At first, my wife and her boyfriend stayed in the guest bedroom.  I didn't realize how much it would hurt to listen to them have sex.  How much it pained me to hear the moans of pleasure I once gave her.  We ended up having good times together.  Well, by together I mean the two of them on the couch, her friend next to them on the adjoining couch and me at the very far end.  I felt like a stranger.  

    It didn't take long for her to convince me to move to the guest room...  I packed up what little I had of my own and moved into the guest room.  It had very little furniture.  A twin bed, some plastic walmart drawers, a lamp and a pile of unpacked boxes.  As lonely and sad as I was, I would still masturbate every time I heard them having sex.  Than again once or twice remembering it.  I would cry myself to sleep in a glaze of my shame.
     
    At this point, she stopped working for the local restaurant collecting in a month less than I earned in a week and began working for a larger corporation.  I saw none of this money.  I was left alone to pay the bills.  I confronted her when I felt independent enough to stand up.  She placed her hand on my neck and pushed me against the wall and reminded me this is what I wanted.  She didn't ask for this and from there began to blame me for all of her problems.  I felt so ashamed.  She was right, I did ask for this.  I changed my tone from there.  She released her hand from my neck (she hadn't been chocking me) and I dropped to my knees.  I pleaded with her to forgive me.  I sobbed uncontrollably as I mentioned how I didn't want her to stop seeing him, nor that he move it.  I liked having him around.  I just felt unwanted, unneeded.  When we started this, she would give me regular contact, check up on me, punish and reward me.  I'm getting none of that now.   
     
    She apologized and understood.  She asked me what it was exactly that I wanted.  I mentioned that even though I never expect to have sex with her again, I would love to be a part of her sex life in some way.  She noted that there is no way in hell that I would ever be joining them.  I explained I didn't mean to join them in the act, yet perhaps to serve them before or after, whatever they needed.  I explained I wanted to help make there lives even better.  Give them more time for each other.  I would even increase my tribute to 40% and forgive the debts of her friend and lover.  I mentioned I was uncertain how they could do it, yet if they keep me in line and make me feel submissive, it seems to make me happy in some sick way.  

    With that, she said she would talk with her lover.  I was left in my room cold and shaking I was so scared.  I had no idea what would happen.  I loved her so much and didn't want to lose her.  An hour later, she texted me.  "Come to our room".  

    I opened the door and found them both sitting on what used to be my bed.  "Come here" she demanded.  "Kneel".  This was not the first time she had made me do this, yet previously it was more in a happy playful sense.  This was not a happy woman.  

    She explained if I wanted to serve them better than she would allow it.  He agreed, yet under no circumstances were I to be involved when they were having sex.  If he, or anyone else in this house asked for anything, I would happily service them.  To feed my submissive nature, she decided to have me strip right there in front of him.  He hadn't too this point seen me in panties.  She had told him, yet there I stood before him suddenly standing in nothing but a tiny white thong.  It left nothing to the imagination.  

    You will take orders by text, so always keep your phone on you.  Keep it on loud because you're on call 24/7.  I don't care if I want a drink at 5am.  If it takes too long, you will be punished.  If you continue to do well, we will agree to reward you.  For now, your pathetic attitude has placed you up shit creek.  It's currently 5pm.  I want you to pick up the laundry on our floor and wash, dry and fold it.  I want you to clean the entire house this week, top to bottom.  (My wife was a pig, so it was a VERY large chore).  I also want you to earn more money this week.  So for now, start the laundry, clean the kitchen and earn another $300 before you get to sleep.  I don't care if it takes you all night.   
     
    And DON'T forget to keep your phone on you.  Oh, and you'll be doing it in just that little thong.  I agreed and thanked her.  My legs were wobbly and my head foggy from the crying and emotion, yet I managed to quickly collect the laundry and start it.  

    I cleaned very thoroughly and quickly knowing I may be able to earn that amount by 3am if I push it.  As I began working, I could hear the moaning.  Her friend was off at work and she seemed to have no remorse for the face I was in the house.  She was moaning so loud I'm sure the neighbors could hear it.  She began moaning phrases clearly directed to me.  "YES, you're the only man for this pussy.  You own this pussy.  Fuck yes, you're the best fuck I've ever had."  It made it incredibly hard to concentrate as my cock was rock hard.  I could feel my tears falling only my panties as I continued to pound away at the keyboard.  This went on for an hour or so.  

    I received a text after "We need smokes and wine.  Bring us some.".  I checked the kitchen and we had no wine.  Her cigarette container outside only had one left.  I responded with this information.  "Well you'd better go fucking get us some.  Make it quick or I'll double what you owe tonight."  With that, I quickly dressed and ran out the door.  I returned about 8 minutes later with a bottle of white wine and a fresh pack of cigarettes.  I stripped back down and knocked on there door.  "Get in here, it's unlocked."  I entered the room with the items in my hand.  They were lying under the covers, his arm under her.  There clothes were at my feet, both of them drenched in sweat.  "Put the glasses on the nightstand and open the cigarettes."  I put the glasses down than attempted to open the cigarettes as best I could.  I had never really smoked and wasn't a fan.  We had never had anyone smoke in our house before.  She was very against it.  With my shaking hands I pulled two cigarettes from the package and handed them to her.  "Why aren't you kneeling?"  I quickly corrected this mistake.  She grabbed a lighter and lit the first handing it to him.  As she lit the second "Did you hear us?"  I lowered my head a bit and said yes.  She took a drag "Well, did you like it?"  I wasn't certain how to respond.  She blew the smoke right in my face.  I coughed a bit and she asked again, "did you like it?"  "I, um, I always enjoy hearing you in pleasure."   
     
      Posted on : Jan 27, 2015
     

     
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