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“Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, yeah, he’s gonna give me mouth to mouth.
But instead, he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation you feel before you die is he is squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet blob of drool drips off his teeth and just, flirp, falls right onto your popped out eyeball.
I get wet just thinking about it.”