I have sent this as a private message to couple here that seem to have a similar arrangement.  I decided to post it as a blog entry.  I doubt that it is a common story but I'm also sure it is more prevalent than the vanilla world would imagine.

i was married to a wonderful Lady that enjoyed my/our fetish as much as i did.

I have always enjoyed, even in my young stud years, giving pleasure orally as much or more than the act of intercourse itself. One night at about the age of 40, between wives, and after more than a few drinks, I blurted out to my Lady that I would like to wear Her panties. She was not Domme but She instinctively realized that I had surrendered control. She shucked the panties off, dangled them in front of me and said "Well, let's see how you look in them". I was shocked, by the fact that I had even asked, and, again by Her reaction but upon donning them i immediately fell to my knees and began pleasuring her. That began many years of a wonderful relationship..
  Within a day or two, She took me shopping insisting that i buy not only panties but also matching bras, because, She said, the nicer ones were sold as sets. My nightly attire became bra, panties and a nightie.
   If you remember, after the advent of decent synthetic hair, there was quite a wig fad among Women so She had already had 2 or 3 at Her place and decided we should see how I would look and maybe add a little blush, eyeliner/shadow and lipstick. Then of course came the full makeup lesson. She introduced me to different styes of hosiery and began to drop hints about my body and leg hair. i became panty clad 24/7 and dressing Fem in our home became the norm. 
   We spent about 15 years together, divorced for other reasons and remain friends to this day..
   I have never bonded more closely with another human. She knows my deepest and darkest secrets, my weaknesses, and my fears. We enjoyed giggles, girly shopping, a vanilla relationship and sex, a lesbian relationship and sex, a Domme/sub relationship and sex and She also saw to it that I learned to pleasure a man now and then. I enjoyed it all and She thrived as my mentor, and (Dominant) partner.
   i was very fortunate to have understanding and guidance from a Strong Willed Lady.