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    robertmugabe's profile
    Clothing fetishes and misogyny

    I have seen it argued that having a transvestic fetish is essentially misogynist. The fetishist wishes to express their submissiveness by wearing as feminine clothing as possible - frilly underwear, satin slips, stockings and so on. Femininity is a proxy for disempowerment.

    It's a reasonable argument, but it misses something.

    In my own experience, my first erotic thoughts were not about sex itself because I was too young to know what it was. I knew that it was pleasurable to masturbate and I fantasised about a woman doing it to me, but I was not going to get near an acutal woman in a sexual context let alone understand what I would do if I did.

    The next best things were symbols of femininity. I managed to obtain a silk scarf and, later, some images of women wearing corsets with suspenders. I fantasised about wearing the scarf and probably the corsets too, as this seemed equivalent to feminine contact.

    These fantasies went away in young adult life, replaced by the excitement of genuine sexual relationships. I still found excitement in seeing women dress in satin or lace, but had no thoughts about wanting to wear it myself. During times when I was single I gravitated back towards fetish fantasies when the mood took me, reading crossdressing stories on Crystal's Story Site (almost none of which matched my fantasies because they either treated crossdressing as an end in itself or as a precursor to homosexual sex and/or a sex change operation).

    I also discovered that there was a name for my fantasies: transvestic fetishism. This, I read, was generally heterosexual men who derived erotic pleasure from women's clothing, as distinct from men who felt more comfortable dressing as women for non-erotic reasons (transvestites) or men who harboured a desire to change sex (transsexuals). 

    There is no question that I was fantasising about women's clothing making me submissive, but it is not as simple as feminine = weak. It represented a desire to return to a time in childhood when I was not expected to initiate sex, when I was innocent of what it entailed and not responsible for the consequences. The sequence of my fantasies had a pattern: I would be dressed in women's clothes for some reason (disguise, roleplay, punishment, manipulation, convenience), be seen to be aroused and for a woman to take this as an invitation to bring me to orgasm.

    Some fantasies were more baroque than others. Most of the time it was enough merely to be made to wear knickers, but I have written stories about wearing maid's uniforms and bridesmaid dresses. Was this because I regard highly feminine garments as disempowering per se, or because I think that they are disempowering to a man trying to conform to society's expectations of him?

    To put it another way, in my fantasies my wearing of women's clothing makes me a passive sex object. But when I see a woman wearing satin and lace I see that as an indicator of being sexually confident. It's a dodgy assumption that sounds worryingly close to the "she was wearing a short skirt so she must have been gagging for it" defence of rapists, but the point I was trying to make was that I perceive the clothes to have a different effect on men than on women.

    So is my transvestic fetish misogynist? To some extent yes: I am invested in the idea that men are expected to be masculine and that transgressing that idea can make men sexually passive (unless they actually want to dress as women, in which case it doesn't). But the underlying emotions for that are that femininity is exotic, sexually potent and empowering.

     
      Posted on : Jan 23, 2021 | Comments (0)
     
    Femdom and feminisation vs cuckold, chastity and forced bi

    The search for images that match my fantasies has made me realise that there are like-minded people out there but also a whole load of people for whom femdom is means something different.

    The themes I like are women taking advantage of unconfident men, often expressed through coerced crossdressing (when it implies arousal rather than dressing up for the sake of it) and pegging.

    Searching for this is harder than you might think, because the bulk of femdom art incorporates themes I dislike: pain, chastity, cuckolding, incest, shemales, forced homosexuality and adult baby fetish.

    Quite often an Imagefap user will add one of my galleries as a favourite and I will click their username in hope of finding other collections like mine, only to see images of men being forced to suck cock or wear nappies.

    It's interesting that these themes are all lumped together. What links them? Shame, primarily. A way for the guilt we feel about sex to be sublimated into something else.

    I just wish there was a way of separating them again.

     
      Posted on : Jan 19, 2021 | Comments (0)
     
    Why I like femdom and feminisation cartoons

    For a long time I have rationalised my interest in femdom and feminisation as stemming from a general feeling of guilt about sex. Growing up, I was aware that there was something private, even furtive about sex long before I understood what sex was. I knew that the pleasure I felt from masturbating was something I should conceal from others.

    So in my early sexual fantasies I would alleviate that sense of guilt by imagining that a woman initiated everything and took responsibility for it. 

    In my ignorance about what sex involved, I fantasised about being fondled. My basic understanding of femininity led me to fantasise about symbols of it like clothing. Put the two together and you get the makings of a fetish.

    But I realised recently that it was more than just a general feeling of guilt. While responding to a user on Imagefap who had written a caption for an image in one of my galleries, I recalled a single moment in my childhood that I recognised as profoundly formative.

     I was young - I'm not sure exactly how young but certainly pre-pubescent. A friend was visiting me at my house and we ended up in my older sister's bedroom with her and at least one of her friends. I am conscious of the frailty of memory, but I remember there being a feminine garment (an elasticated floral skirt?) and a suggestion that one or both of us might like to wear it. This was probably a device to make us go away rather than a wish to dress us up per se, but it wasn't merely verbal - we were physically offered it and perhaps even approached by my sister's friend with the prospect that she would make us. My friend was more assertive than me, refusing to do it. I remember thinking that I did want to, perhaps even saying so.

    How close did I come to wearing it? If I did it was both my friend and I wearing it together over the top of our clothes. I remember there being some kind of struggle, with my friend having to get away, and us leaving the room shortly afterwards.

    In any case, the memory of that seems to have lodged and manifested itself as a wish to be dominated and an association between sex and feminine clothing. The drawings I have gathered on Imagefap take me back to that time, when I wished for feminine contact without knowing what it would be like, but knowing that I would be ashamed.

    It is instructive to realise how profound that encounter was - how without it I would probably not have spent so many hours searching for images that speak to those desires. I wonder if the people who drew them, or who admire them, had similar experiences.

     
      Posted on : Jan 17, 2021 | Comments (0)
     



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