I suppose Regression to a more child-like mentality is to be expected for someone in my position, and also that I have always had a big interest in ABDL.
But the Reality is staggering...it's NOT like one's fantasies and dreams whatsoever, of course.
More and more, I feel less and less need to try to keep up the 'facade' of being an adult. I'm not...not anymore, not in the ways that really matter.
More and more, Mommy treats me and relates to me as a toddler, and I am finding myself getting accustomed to that easier and quicker than I ever thought possible.
It's just easier...it's like shrugging off a huge burden from your shoulders after carrying it for a long time, one that's been getting more massive by the day.
It's Thanksgiving here, and I give huge Thanks for Mommy and our friends in the BDSM Lifestyle that openly accept me, and treat me with friendliness and respect. They will never know how much that means to me...I've tried to tell them, but the words always feel so inadequate.
I also want to say Thank-You to all the people following me here!!
This is my self-Introduction to the Imagefap community.
It's a pleasure to be here and to share a long-time interest of my hubby's.
I can not say how active I will be here, time will tell, but I'm happy just riding along with hubby as the account is now 'Ours'. I intend to be somewhat active, but won't be 'taking-over' this account.
I would like to Thank all of you who have been so welcoming of my hubby's presence here over the years, you gave him a sense of Acceptance that helped him get through some bad times before I happened across him, and I will always appreciate that!!
Days like I am having today, as painful as they are and as miserable as I feel make me appreciate my MommyWife all that much more.
The pain I experience during rheumatic 'flare-up' incidents is from the bones at the top of my skull and all the way down to the joints in my toes. It's so bad even breathing hurts, and quite a bit.
Of course this also really challenges me regading mobility, not only do the joints in my hips, legs and back hurt, they don't work properly especially during flare-up times.
Imagine taking a step and having your knee almost break-backward, that's just one of the fun little tricks I have to work around.
The pain is so bad it leaves me shaking--I do have prescription painkillers, but I hate them, the side effects are worse (for me) than what they're supposed to address.
Mommy makes all the difference. Just a warm, supportive hug helps more than I can say--and I wouldn't get that in some care facility.
Being back to breastfeeding, especially days like today, is a huge benefit as it's easy on the stomach and while I'm nursing, the pain and everything rheumatic doesn't bother me. Mommy noticed this early on after she first put me back to breastfeedings, and gives me 'comfort nursings' when the pain is really bad whether it's time for a feeding or not.
I should mention, as some might ask that Mommy is part-owner of a homecare supply business as well as a rental property management company. This is why she's able to stay home and be with me as she can handle almost everything business-wise from home. On the occasions she cannot, she takes me with her as she doesn't feel it's safe for me to be alone.
I have to agree with her on that, because when I am alone these days, it's worrying and makes me anxious because I am quite aware of my condition and what can happen.
I do what I can to help Mommy with her businesses, and am listed genuinely as 'flexible part-time', as there's my condition and that my efforts are not needed on a predictably regular basis, so I am sort-of 'on-call', in a manner of speaking.
I am still alive because of Mommy's love and care, she's my best ally in fighting to keep what quality-of-life I can while my condition works to steal it away. Because of her, I have had improvements in my health, and I sleep better, which is important as until she took me in to her life, I never slept well at all especially when my health started seriously into the downturn, which of course made things worse.
I owe her my life, in every genuine way.
She not only saved it, she has made it better and fights to keep it as good as can be had.
I UPDATE IT AS BEST i CAN DEPENDING ON HOW CAPABLE i FEEL
When Mommy first found me, she knew immediately I had incontinence issues, as she saw me picking up belted undergarments and then was in line with me at the checkout. Despite this, she approached me outside the store and that evening we had our first coffee together.
After a few months, she decided we should get married, as she wanted me in her life and pointed out that marriage would make it easier for her to look after me.
Right from the beginning, things were all her decision, she drove and I cannot--haven't be able to for years--and she had far more money than I had. Also, she's not the kind of woman who takes 'No' as an answer.
While I was still living alone, she grew increasingly worried about me, and after I had a serious fall in the bathroom, she imposed new rules on me.
1; I was absolutely forbidden from trying to bathe or shower without her there to help and protect me from falls.
2; Whenever we were together, she would take me to the toilet--again to protect me vs. falling--also she wanted to make sure the areas involved were not developing rashes or skin infections.
That was embarrassing, humiliating and something I had to accept as she wouldn't accept refusal and told me not to talk back when I protested.
That's when I realized what kind of woman I had encountered...and how much she actually cared about me.
I have to admit, the first time she wiped my bottom, even though all I had needed to do was tinkle, was an eye-opener and made it absolutely clear to me that I was completely in her hands and under her care.
The second big eye-opener was when she made it clear that such would be how things were from then on, whether we were at home or out.
As I walk with a cane, and have other indications of being disabled, no one questions her coming into the men's restrooms with me...and no one questions it on the times when she takes me into a lady's restroom.
All of that took some time to get used to, obviously and she began scheduling my trips to the toilet as she learned more about how my system operated over time, which was embarrassing as having that decision taken out of my hands was very humbling.
After moving in, I was put in my place as an Aby.
Within the first hours after I moved into our home, my wife's house, she put me back into diapers, onesies and made it clear that I would also be getting put back to breastfeeding.
Mommy's reasons for doing such I admit are based on pregmaticism, also caring.
I do call her 'Mommy', and she does treat me like I'm a toddler.
her reasons for such are Lifestyle based as well as her very much enjoying the entire aspect of Maternal Dominance. The breastfeeding is because of problems I have dietarily and such is her way of addressing such...also, there's the Bonding aspect that we both very much enjoy.
I spent most of my life alone, and although not aware of it, I was scared.
Mommy chose to breastfeed me after inducing lactation as a source of addressing dietary issues and providing emotional support and comfort.
I admit, I was put-off at the beginning, but after one night where I was exhausted, and feeling really awful...when Mommy offered her breast, I found my instincts to nurse and suckle kicking in, and have not looked back since.
Since Mommy made breastfeeding my dietary staple, there's been improvements in my health--nothing huge, but assorted small benefits and improvements that taken together make a big improvement.
Specifically, two folders were created to 'frame' what I sought and so desperately wished to find even though I knew down to the cores of my bones and the bottom of my soul that it was a matter of really damned LONG odds.
I have spent many, many years fighting an all-out and steadily-losing war vs chronic, progressively-debilitating conditions (Acute Rheumatism and complications) which stole my ability to do what I loved; woodworking and stoneworking as well as welding and metalworking.
It has stolen more than that from me, slowly, over time and left me a wreck, adrift and steadily losing more and more of my ability to live independently...and yes, that is a frightening thing to face, just think about it and the prospect of ending up in a state-run care facility.
Then, one evening when I was falling into a deep black hole of resignation and despair, she found me...and saved me a trip to the liquor store to drown my brain into submission regarding acceptance of the lost war.
Instead, I was invited out for a coffee, and from that little encounter in the local drugstore in the shitty neighbourhood I used to reluctantly call 'home' my new lease on life was given to me,
It was given to me by a woman I never, not ever, thought I would find in real life. A woman who opened her heart to me, who saw within me someone worth bringing into her life and loving.
I owe her my life, and more than that...a debt of appreciation and gratitude I can never repay to my satisfaction.
Yet, she feels that SHE is the 'lucky' one for finding me.
My MommyWife (as she prefers to be referred to) saved me from the hell of state-run care and also plucked me from the apartment I had that was more like a tomb than a place to live.
She took charge and took over control of my life from the first, and where some guys would protest, I was content to yield to what I could see was acts of love and caring.
Why? Why was I so ready to engage in a protracted and stealthy suicide??
I was tired--fighting rheumatism, fighting my failing health, trying to get by in a world that claims to be helpful to the disabled yet is actually the reverse and harbors nothing but resentment towards us. I was tired of the pain, and to be blunt, I was looking to slowly kill myself with alcohol and prescription pain medications.
Pain meds...fucking waste of money...all they do is put me to sleep, upset my stomach and leave me 'smelling' and 'tasting' bleach for days on end...I fucking hate pain meds.
I just wanted to get out of Hell.
Then, an amazonian MommyAngel plucked me out of it, and took me into her life.
